Trust Issues
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| Sun, 01-04-2004 - 1:35pm |
Im in need of some advice. I have some serious trust and honesty issues with my boyfriend of 4 years. It all started when we first got together. We have this on and off again relationship. When I met him we became very best friends. He was in a relationship and so was I. We both ended our relationships and after awhile started to see each other. He remained very close to his ex. It bugged me but reassured me that they were just friends. Well we ended up breaking up and he went back to her. This went on for 3 of the years we have dated. Everytime we would break up he would go back. The reason why we would break up was because of her. He would say they were just friends yet they would talk and email almost every day. It was hard because I loved him and I really wanted this to work out. Finally about a year ago she met someone else and now she is engaged to marry this man. I believe they have stopped being so close because of this. I ask him if they still talk and he says sometimes. The problem now is that we are trying to make this work and I have a serious problem with trusting him with what he says. I question everything. I really would like to work thru this but I feel like our relationship is too damaged by the past. I would like some advice on how to work on trust and honesty?

Now that she is getting married, you can not assume that his feelings for her have totally died. He could still be carrying a torch for her even if she has moved on romantically.
How is the relationship otherwise. Do you think he loves you or do you feel like you are his second choice? Does he treat you well? Does he talk about the future?
Suggest couple's counseling to have a safe place to clear the air and work through the issues. If he's not willing to go, it will say a lot about how he really feels.
Carrie