trust is not my best subject

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
trust is not my best subject
7
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:10am
okay here is it in a short. My boyfriend of 9 years is leaving to go to NY next week and stupid me read his emails. He emailed 2 women that he went to school with stating that they should hook up and have a beer and basically gather a bunch together well one emailed back stating she had gotten divorced and even emailed him her address and cell number. This paticular one is one he was going to meet up with 9 years ago and try to start a relationship and didnt cause he met me. he told me this when we first met. He has stated to me that he loves me and wants to stay and build a rest of our life together relationship. Trust is not easy for me at all and you would think after 9 years I owuld be able to trust him. He wrote her
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:38pm

Hi,


Here's your previous post: can not satify anyway I go and notsexual


::Has not shown any signs of ever cheating on mebut my concern is should I be nervous about him while he is up there?


I would say if he's not given you signs that's a good thing. On the other hand - either you trust him or you don't. He's going to do or not do what he wants regardless of whether or not you are concerned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:47pm
no but have not brought it up yet or talked to him about it. I just found them this morning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 4:10pm

There is trust and then there is apprehension due to circumstances that dont feel right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 6:49pm
yes and no..I just recently started a job
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 4:27pm
well he told me today the bombshell that I have been expecting..He stated to me it is time for him to move on move back to NY and states he wants me to go and that he feels he tneeds to try to make it work with me and does not want to throw away 9 years but I think all the hurt and crapthat has happened over the last 9 years is oging to push him away more and not sure how to take the bombshell..He says he is happier now that my kids are on there own and working and I know he loves me. I really believe that but is it enough
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 4:53pm
It's nice that he wants you to come... is that with or without marriage?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 8:10pm
no we are not married and as far as I know we have no plans for that. We have felt in our hearts that we are already married but our relationship os so hard and alot of pain and frustration has happened between us and I am trying to find a way to heal us. I just dont know how and Im sure we are very determined to make this work at least I have that impression. Guess we will see what happens when the time comes to leave and for him to go to NY. I know I have his heart but now I am wondering what is going to be said when his daughter finds out I am going. She is 19 and has no respect for anyone except herself and only cares or likes youwhen she wants something. Or you are giving her something. but her being 19 she needs to be on her own and doing things for herself..yeah right...we are one drama after one drama and one day I will have my dream of all the kids living on there own and only coming over for visits and leaving and then it will be just him and I.