TRYING TO COPE WITH STEPDAUGHTERS
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TRYING TO COPE WITH STEPDAUGHTERS
| Tue, 10-05-2004 - 3:15am |
I AM 39 AND I REMARRIED IN 1999 TO A MAN WHO IS 13 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH BUT HIS ADULT DAUGHTERS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. I SOMETIMES THINK MY LOVE FOR HIM JUST ISNT WORTH ALL I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH. THE OLDEST IS THE WORST SHE IS MARRIED AND HAS 2 KIDS OF HER OWN, BUT SHE ALWAYS SEEMS TO TALK ABOUT HER MOM TO ME AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE THEIR DADS CELL PHONE NUMBER TO THEIR MOM SO SHE CAN STAY IN CONTACT WITH HIM FOR WHAT REASON I DONT KNOW, I AM ALWAYS THE LAST TO FIND OUT THEY ARE EVEN TALKING. AND WHEN WE GO VISIT THE MOM HAS TO ALWAYS SHOW UP AND STAYS THE HOLE TIME WE ARE THERE. THEY NEVER CALL OUR HOME THEY WAIT TILL THEIR DAD IS AT WORK AND CALLS HIM THERE, THEY HAVE CONSTANTLY BORROWED MONEY FROM US AND YET MY HUSBAND NEVER EXSPECTS THEM TO PAY IT BACK. BUT IF ONE OF MY CHILDREN BORROWS MONEY IT BETTER BE PAID BACK AS SOON AS THEY GET IT. THIS IS OUR 1 AND ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE , ALL I ASK IS HE STAND UP FOR ME TO HIS DAUGHTERS AND HE HAS YET TO DO SO. WE HAVE HAD SEVERAL VACATION WHERE WE TOOK SEPARATE VACATION BECAUSE MY KIDS WERENT WELCOME AT HIS DAUGHTERS HOME, AND THAT IS WHERE HE WANTED TO GO ON HIS VACATION, WELL MY CHILDREN STILL LIVED AT HOME AT THE TIME SO I SAID FINE IF YOU STILL WANT TO GO THERE THEN GUESS WELL GO ON SEPERATE VACATIONS. AND WE DID, I SHOULD OF LEFT HIM THEN BUT I DIDNT. MY KIDS HAVE EXCEPTED HIS KIDS, WHEN THEY WOULD COME TO VISIT AT OUR HOME WHICH IS VERY RARELY MY KIDS WOULD GIVE UP THEIR BEDS TO LET THEM SLEEP AND MY KIDS WOULD SLEEP ON THE FLOOR, BUT DO YOU THINK MY KIDS GOT THE SAME RESPECT. OH NO I WAS TOLD THEY WERENT WELCOME BECAUSE THEY GOT TO SEE THEIR DAD EVERYDAY AND THEY DIDNT WANT TO SHARE THEIR TIME THEY WERE GONNA GET WITH MY KIDS WHO GOT TO SEE HIM EVERYDAY.BUT YET WE ARE SUPPOSE TO SHARE OUR TIME WITH THEIR MOTHER- GO FIGURE.I AM MY HUSBANDS 4TH MARRIAGE AND NOW I AM BEGINNING TO SEE WHY HE CANT SEEM TO KEEP A WIFE, HIS ADULT DAUGHTERS DRIVE THEM AWAY. BUT I AM DETERMINED THEY ARE NOT GONNA WIN THIS BATTLE. I JUST NEED HELP ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION BEFORE I REALLY BLOW UP. I REALLY DONT WANT TO END MY MARRIAGE I LOVE MY HUSBAND BUT SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE SOON. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I COULD TELL YOU BUT MAYBE IN ANOTHER SESSION. I WILL JUST SEE WHAT ADVICE I GET FROM JUST THESE FEW PROBLEMS WE HAVE WITH HIS DAUGHTERS. MY KIDS TELL ME I AM TO NICE TO THEM I SHOULD JUST TELL THEM HOW I FEEL. BUT ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE, I WONT BE JUST MAKING THEM MAD IT WILL MAKE THE HOLE FAMILY MAD AT ME.

Carrie
It strikes me as odd that you, being the fourth wife, never thought it was your business to ask why his 3 peior relationships failed....you owe it to at least your kids. How does he treat your kids? Does he lack as much respect for them as his own children does? I think that you have the right to let them know when they are out of line, i mean, these are your children.