Trying not to be upset, but...
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| Mon, 07-12-2004 - 11:44pm |
When I got home from work, I went over to get my son at the neighbors house. My neighbor's H is one of the buddies that went to the lake with my H. She told me that they weren't coming back until Thursday, to which I replied "What?! That's not what my H told me." So I excussed myself and called my H, as I was feeling a bit paniced and upset. He insisted that he was coming home tomorrow and I was relieved. But then , he called me back about 10 minutes later and said that he just realized that the other guys inteneded to stay until Thursday (of course, my H rode up with them) but that if he HAD to come home, I could come get him tomorrow. Well, first off, the lake is an hour and a half away, I have to work, etc. I could go up after work, but what a pain. And really, my biggest problem is that I feel like I was duked. How could he not know when he was coming back? And if it's true, how could he be so irresponsible and not get all the facts together before deciding to 'abandon' me with his parents, the kids and all the responsiblity at home, so he can go off and party with his buddies? I'm not dumb. I know when I'm being BS'd. I was married to a 'professional' lier for 8 years before my current H). I'm really sad, mad, dissappointed and honestly, not sure what to think about all this. I don't want to be unreasonable, but my fears are genuine. And I'm not sure what to say to him or how to act right now. He'll be calling me back later this evening. I've already asked him straight up if he BS'd me at all today and he said no. What do you all think? I'm I justified in being upset, not just that I'm scared to be with his parents alone, but that I don't think he was straight with me? Should I go get him tomorrow, just to prove a point or is that stupid? I don't know. Any suggestion welcomed. Thanks.

I don't have any real advice but I think what has happened here is that your dh feels overwhelmed by his situation (trying to find work, family and home responsibilities, and the burden of having his parents there too). I think he felt a need to get away. Of course leaving you high and dry with all those responsibilities was awfully inconsiderate and I'd be fit to be tied too. You'll have to probably take the firm straight forward approach with him. Seems if you are too 'wishy-washy' and you ultimately leave things up to him you won't get what you were looking for at all. So just be firm with the man. Hopefully he'll come around and get his act together. If not, then perhaps it's marriage counseling time.
Good luck to you!
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi