Two Timer Senior
Find a Conversation
Two Timer Senior
| Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:18pm |
I have been dating this man for 9 years now, not living together. We had a great relationship until last March, when I caught him in bed with another woman. His response was that we had grown apart and she was there. He promised me at least 10 times that he has broken up with her. He keeps returning to me for sex. When I caught them together, he backed her up and told me to get out of his house.
He disappears for weekends and then gives me some trupmed up excuse. I have caught him in numerous lies. I am going to see the shrink, on medication, can't seem to function. Each time I believe him and each time I am left holding the bag. I am just to humiliated, he has pranced his gal (22 years his junior) around his family and friends. They all told him to get rid of her, that she was evil but he keeps hanging on.
I am so sick of crying all day. I want my life back, there are days when I don't even get out of my PJ's. I haven't taken my dog for a walk in three months. Someone please give me some advise that will sink into my hard head.

That is your problem.
'Someone please give me some advise that will sink into my hard head.'
O.k. Get some nerve, a spine and get out. How many times does he need to humiliate you before you get it? He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect women or himself. Is it the drama that you like? Do you like being a victim? Grow up and take some responsibility because you can not change him. It takes a hell of a lot more than love to keep a relationship together.
How was that?
Focus on you and your healing. First, go back to your therapist and find out of the meds you are on are still the right ones. Talk about the depression, don't dismiss it.
Then work on your self-esteem:
When Your Lover is a Liar, Susan Forward
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny, by Joyce Meyer (Christian Based)
YOU are NOT LESS THAN because of his actions, choices or behaviors. And you will be fine without him. Yes, you hurt, but you should be ANGRY (depression is sometime anger turned inward) be angry with him, stop seeing him so you can stop being angry that you are listening to his lies and holding on to false hope that he will change.
My best to you.
Carrie
Hope this helps shake some sense into you (I tried!). Good luck.
honey. not getting dressed and not leaving the house/taking care of your pet ---- sounds like depression. this is nothing to do with HIM, this is your time to focus on YOU. if you are not well, then you will continue to be in unhealthy relationships (BTDT). you deserve to be happy, but only YOU can make the healthy choices. get back to your doctor, find the meds that WORK for you, get to therapy.
life ain't easy, for any of us.