Clearly the two of you need good, solid professional help in resolving your differences in a way that's mature, considerate and doesn't resort to abuse. I'm sorry that the marriage counselors have not been able to be of help. Of course, both parties must be willing to face their own part in the troubles, respect their partner's needs and feelings and be able to arrive at solutions which benefit both. If divorce is being brought up, even if ony at times, it sounds as though the marriage is in a critical time.
Rather than go for marriage counseling, I suggest you find a really, well trained therapist for yourself to get the support, insight and clarity you need about how to handle this situation. Of course, optimally, he should go as well, though it doesn't sound as though he is willing to do that right now. However, the best step to take is for you to get the help you need on an on-going basis in dealing with your own feelings and actions, and finding ways of making healthy choices for your life.
Clearly the two of you need good, solid professional help in resolving your differences in a way that's mature, considerate and doesn't resort to abuse. I'm sorry that the marriage counselors have not been able to be of help. Of course, both parties must be willing to face their own part in the troubles, respect their partner's needs and feelings and be able to arrive at solutions which benefit both. If divorce is being brought up, even if ony at times, it sounds as though the marriage is in a critical time.
Rather than go for marriage counseling, I suggest you find a really, well trained therapist for yourself to get the support, insight and clarity you need about how to handle this situation. Of course, optimally, he should go as well, though it doesn't sound as though he is willing to do that right now. However, the best step to take is for you to get the help you need on an on-going basis in dealing with your own feelings and actions, and finding ways of making healthy choices for your life.
Best wishes,
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It can get better.
I agree that finding a good counselor that you both like is important.