Unhappy because of pregnancy or relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2011
Unhappy because of pregnancy or relationship?
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 8:16pm

Hi, my name is Brittany and I am 21 years old. I have been dating Robert for 3 years. He has older kids (13, 17 and 18). A year ago, we opened a business together. We are constantly around one another which can be stressful at times. When Rob and I started seriously dating, we decided we were not going to have children. He already had enough children and I did not want any. Now previously I did but his were enough to handle for me. A little background about me: I do not drink and I do not smoke. I was exercising a lot, maintaining a healthy weight and I have always had irregular periods. I realized that I was gaining weight for no reason so I took a pregnancy test. It was positive so I went to the doctor two weeks later and come to find out I was 4 months pregnant! Rob and I talked about abortion but we decided not to because we are both pro-choice. I am now regretting that decision.

Let me start by saying Rob is the most supportive person that ever lived, he always tries to make me happy and less stressed. By the way I have a high anxiety/stress level. A couple weeks after we found out I started to become very sad. A couple months later I was in a deep depression. All of this was too much to handle. The age gap between Rob and I, work, his kids. I also stopped caring about EVERYTHING in my life. I was very resentful against the baby. I started going to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 10:54pm

First I am not a therapist and as you stated you are seeing one. But it sounds to me as though you were already feeling trapped and unhappy before you got pregnant and the pregnancy only added to your stress of being so young and helping to raise a family with a man who is old enough to be your father.

You never really lived or found out who you were before you took on all this extra responsibility and with a man who you are not even married to. A child is not something you can experiment with and it does not sound as though you are mentally stable enough to raise a

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 11:45am

I agree w/ the other poster--first of all, you need to continue w/ therapy--if you didn't feel the 1st therapist was really getting you anhwere, get a new therapist.