unhappy with marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
unhappy with marriage
11
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 11:38pm
I'm not sure where to start I guess the reason I found myself on this site is b/c I am miserable in my marriage.I've got to the point that I can't even stand to look at him I'm so unhappy and I don't know what to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 12:30am
Just get a divorce and quit winning already
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 12:49am

Hi sadandhappy, did you write to yourself?


Can you tell us why you are unhappy? Are you willing to look into some counseling or some good self-help books?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:08pm
yes I guess I did awnser myself but I am not crazy I swear!ha ha maybe I am.I guess what is bothering me is myself I always seem to get myself into these situations.In this case marriage is the sit.When we first got together I know that I loved him, but somewhere down the rode something went wrong very wrong.I don't even like looking at him now and of coarse I put all the blame on him.He is very judgmental and can come across as an jerk but he didn't use to be like that or did I just not see it?According to him I bitch all the time, but if I say "why didn't you call when you got off" being a ***** then I guess I am.I'm not good enough I do nothing right but he was the one who gave me the courage to stop doing grugs and change my life.He was the only one there for me when everyone else was so fed up w/me that they didn't talk to me much.There he was my knight in shinning armor ready to sweep me off my feet and give me everything that I had ever dreamed of.And he did, for awhile till things started going wrong, it was like the first time I messed up it was"Look where you where when I found you"."you would still be living over there doing drugs and you wouldn't have anything"Then he said he was sorry and everything went backto the way it was.Now 4yrs later I FEEL LIKE I HATE HIM.I know I don't I just want the old person back you know the way he used to be that happy supportave person that stood up for me and belived in me.But he won't come back and I know that so what do I do?Do I stay and be miserable b/c I think that he might just be going through something?Or is it me like he says?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:21pm

If you're on this board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:39pm
Will he go to counseling with you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:42pm

Since you have changed your life, I wonder if the roles the two of you started out with - him being a 'saver' and you needing 'saved' - I wonder if the two of you haven't adjusted to the changes?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:27pm
I don't know if he will or not but I really do not feel like theropy is the solution.I mean we have our problems and yes I came here for advice but does that really mean I need help?Or does everyone on here get suggested for cousling?
I may seem a little affended but I'm not I guess you guys caught me on a bad day or night is more like it.We have our problems just like everyone else,and yes sometimes I feel confused to the point I'm not sure where I'm going but hey I like to think that we all do, but if I'm wrong then I'd be more than happy to go to counsling.I just came here b/c I wanted to talk to someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:33pm
Thank you for writing I like to think that maybe that's all it is, you know now he doesn't have to take care of me anymore and he's just not sure what to do now.And maybe I don't know what to do either maybe we both are the same person just a little lost and out of sorts.No matter what he was there for me when I needed him.It's just now that I don't need him in that way,we both don't know where we fit into each others lives.I was having a bad day the other day when I wrote in and I don't hate him as much as it sounded actually I don't hate him at all, I just want it to all go back the way it used to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 1:13am

Hi again,


I hope the both of you can find your way and make it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 1:33pm
Please don't feel that I singled you out. We/I do recommended counseling to a lot of people. I hope I didn't offend you.

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