Unhappy in relationship
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| Fri, 05-09-2008 - 12:19pm |
I am in a problem right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Within those two years my boyfriend had a problem with alcohol. He is now in recovery. He goes to narcotics anonoymous meetings all the time and has been sober for over 2 months now. We broke up back in February due to his drinking and got back together 2 weeks later. Recently though something feels missing.
It was good for the first few weeks of being reunited, but now he goes to meeting all the time and wants to hang out with his friends. I do see him everyday since I sort of live at his house with him. But there is a lack in intimacy. We don't have sex as frequently as we used to and I honestly dont even want to because I feel no connection. We fight a lot. This week has been all drama. On Wednesday he picked a fight with me for no reason and left in anger.
He has been acting really cocky lately, like he thinks he is better than me. When I try to talk to him about how I feel he gets frustrated and says I am trying to cause problems and he walks away. I told him last night that it feels like he has some girl on the side. He denied this. Yesterday he talked to his sponser and told him that he has been starting fights with me and that something is going on with him.
His sponser thinks he is trying to sabatoge our relationship so he doesn't have to focus on his real problems like all the debt he is in. He also told his sponser that I think he has a girl on the side. His sponser asked him if this was true, he said no. Although later he told me that he has been feeling really guilty and shamfull. He said because a lot of girls hit on him and he feels as though he is on a "fine line" of getting their numbers and hanging out with them aka cheat on me.
Our talk last night was good, but I still feel upset and hurt. Especially that now I feel as though he may cheat. I took all my stuff out of his house today. I felt happy before Wednesday but when he picked a fight with me. Now i feel crappy about myself. I feel unattractive and worthless. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me forever but then says weird things to me like he is on a fine line with other girls. His best friend cheats on his girlfriend all the time. My boyfriend used to tell me how wrong it is, but now he says he has to accept his friend for who he is and not judge him.
I am only 22 and he is 21. I feel like I am on a fine line now of breaking up with him. I don't want to break up though. I am afraid to. I have broken up with him in the past 2 times and each time I come back to him within 2 weeks. The last time we broke up it felt like he didn't love me as much. When we got back together he told me that breaking up made him realize how much he loves me. And now it feels like he doesn't love me as much again.
There is nothing I can do to change him. I am unhappy. When i think about breaking up with him, my mind starts thinking about him getting with other girls. I just feel like that is what he wants. ANd I don't want to give him that. I don't know. He told me last night that he doesn't want me to break up with him and that he wants be with me. He said I am his anchor and I am the reason he now in recovery.
Im confused and hurt. I feel like just turning off my phone and ignoring him for few days. Maybe then he will realize that I am important and should be cherished.
Any advice and support would help tremendously.
Thank you

Welcome to the board chilove2008,
You said he had a problem with drinking but was attending narcotics anon. meetings.
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board chilove2008,
You feeling bad about yourself is not a good thing.