Unhappy , unfaithful ,and cunfused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Unhappy , unfaithful ,and cunfused
3
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 5:10pm
My husband and myself have been together for 14yr. Not all of them have been good. I love this man and always have. I will give you the shortest version a possible.

I know that he has been unfaithful 1 time, and that was within the first 6 mo of are marriage. But I believe it is more like 3 times. We have went through him having cancer, Both of us getting into drugs, We have been done with that for 9 yrs. he has verbally, physically, and mentally abused my children and myself many time. I loved him so very much I put up with anything.

Then I knew that he was messing around again. I found E-mails, other people around us where treating me different, I just knew. I confronted him. Of course he lied, trying to make me think that I was going crazy. Well it back fired on him because I stopped feeling, I stop caring, and I stopped living my life for him. I set out to fulfill my needs.

I met this man at work that I feel in love with. He was also married. We had an affair for 1 year before anyone found out. Then it all hit the fan. He left his wife, I told him that I would also leave. But I was to afraid to leave. So of course I lost him and I am still trying to make things work in my mirage. Well it not going to good. We tried counseling , until my husband walk out one day, vowing never to go back. I lost my job of 10 yrs, so I have know money.

So we just fight and argue all the time. we are both trying, but we can't get it back together. Before I met this other man we had not had sex for a year. Not from lack of trying on my part. I would ask him to go see the doctors, well after all of this he finely went. Low testosterone level. well now he wants sex and I have no interest in sex with HIM.

I have tried and well contenue to try, I will for him, But I just don't have it anymore.

So my question for you is, will I ever get it back or should I just stop trying. We are both unhappy. We are starting to dislike each other very much. all I can ask is, what can I do. Or do I just give up. I can't get over this love affair that I had.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 5:23pm
Ok, how about counseling by yourself to sort through your emotions, find a direction and make a decision? Start with your self-esteem....


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 5:31pm
Thank you that is a great idea. But when I lost my job , I also lost my insurance along with it.

Right now there is know money for me to get counseling.

Where do I go to get counseling With no money.

If anyone knows let me know. I want to go, I really need it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 5:35pm
Through a church? If you are in the US, check the white pages - County of.... it use to be under Mental Health, now it might be Health Care, then mental health. The county offers counseling on a sliding scale, based on your ability to pay, so it might be free in your case.


Carrie