Unintended sexual moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Unintended sexual moment
3
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 10:14pm

I am a 40y/o happily married woman, my husband is 53. Two nights ago I had a big birthday party for him and I also included my best girlfriend since her birthday was right around the same time. She is in her late 30's and so is her husband. By the end of the evening after most guests had left she and I began dancing together. It became intimate (first time ever) and since we were kind of drunk we took it upstairs. My husband was downstairs cleaning up and had no idea, so imagine his surprise when he came upstairs and found the two of us naked in bed. At first he just watched and then he climbed in with us. Nothing more really happened because a few minutes later my best friends husband was banging on our bedroom door. I assume one of the remaining guests went and told him what was going on. We were all dressed when we opened the door and I don't really remember anything more than that, except I remember my husband telling her husband: "Hey, I just walked in on two naked gorgeous girls getting it on and if it had happened to you I'm sure you would have done the same thing I did." The next morning my tires were brutally slashed. I feel awful. I'm not even mad about the tires and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend isn't angry with me, but we all know that her straightlaced husband is wrecked over this whole thing and I really don't know what to do. My husband did not have sex with her, he just watched and probably touched a little bit. Any advice?? Should I just lay low? Should I bother mentioning the slashed tire? Should I just accept the tire damage as his rightful revenge and be glad he took a knife to a tire and not a body? I really value and adore my friendship with this family and would hate for her husband to hate or distrust me and my husband over a few too many glasses of wine and a "girls gone wild" moment. We are not gay women and even though it was deliciously fun for the moment I'm sure it would never happen again.

Anyone have any insight?
Thanks,
Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 10:51pm
Sorry Jen, but labeling your friend's husband as "straightlaced" as a way to deflect your own perverted behavior won't fly here. You, your friend and your husband simulated a threesome and thought it was all "deliciously fun." Wrong. You all acted like a bunch of morons and debased your marriages.
Your friend's husband should definitely end the friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 12:11am

I agree with ivdarian on all points.

The fact is, swinging (either organised or spur of the moment) is something that MUST be done with the consent of all partners. Because your friend did not have her husband's permission, it means she was cheating on him. While the 'girl on girl' fantasy appeals to many men, it does NOT appeal to all. Him wanting a monogamous marriage does not make him straightlaced.

At this point, your girlfriend's priority should be in recovering her marriage. She needs to concentrate on regaining her husband's trust. If she truly values her marriage and wants to make amends for her actions it's most likely you will not be seeing her again. And I think it's a given that any friendship with them as a couple has been completely destroyed.

Every action has a consequence. Next time, consider the consequences before acting.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 12:12am

Oh spare me the "straight laced" husband jab. Cheating is cheating, the sex of the partner doesn't matter. As for your husbands callous remarks - NO - most men would not hop in bed with another man's wife and expect him to be okay with it. "A few too many glasses of wine and a girls gone wild moment?" Grow up and take a little responsibility for behavior that would be devastating to anyone who did not agree to it, and most reasonable people.

Would it be a deliciously harmless moment if you found out your husband was in bed with two other people? You don't value this friendship. You have no conscience for the pain you have caused this man because you had your fun. Not everyone has a perverse, "if it feels good do it no matter who it hurts" mentality. Some people,(GASP) actually honor monogamy and relationship boundaries!!!!!

My insight - you've participated in possibly destroying a marriage leave these people alone!