Unsure out of the BLue???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Unsure out of the BLue???
2
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 6:18am

Me and my bf of about a month and a half have both agreed that we have an amazing connection unlike anyone else we have been with before. We have never had any problems together so far and just enjoy every moment of each other. He kind of pushed the relationship to where it is now which may have been quick because he was in a 4 year relationship before me and only broke up with her about 2-3 months before we got together. But he pushed for the exclusiveness and stressed how commited he is to me. He even suggested we go away during the summer.

Only about a few days ago i noticed something change. He was more quiet with me and his sweet texts disappeared. So i questioned him on it. He finally said that "he just doesn't know", "things aren't going as he had planned" "he thought he was ready for a relationship but now hes not sure" "maybe we moved too fast." ??!?!?!!?

I have no idea where this came from and he doesnt have any answer for me but, "i don't know...its me." ugh! He doesn't want to break up, just wants to see where it goes. When i saw him again everythings seemed fine, but i just feel things are off and its hurting me that i dont know why and whats happening. I feel like im on pins and needles now not knowing whats going on and if things will last when there has been nothing that happened that it should end. What do you think? What can i do? Ive never felt anything like this with anyone and dont want to lose him. Theres no reason for me to lose him. How can i get him to tell me whats going on without pushing him away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 12:24pm
Hello Snakegoddess! I'm normally a lurker on Ivillage boards, but will pop out if a certain post gets my attention and yours is one. Your BF was in a LTR and trust me it will take a good amount of time for him to grieve over that relationship. In the meantime, he is likely not a person you should be seriously involved with. In other words, he's going thru changes and you are experiencing them from reading your post. I don't want to be too harsh, but it seems to me that you both moved a little too fast. I don't think you want to be his rebound girl. Right now he is in a confused state of mind, so that's why you can't get a straight answer from him. He may be still in contact with his ex which is why I believe he said what he said to you. Believe it or not - he's a wounded soul right now and you are a comfort to him. I truly hope that I have not offended you in any way cuz that's not my intent. I'm only reposonding to what you've written and what I've read. Please take care and God bless you and yours. I hope the other Ivillagers with more great advice will respond.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 9:56pm

Welcome to the board snakegoddess,


He's feeling this way after about 6 weeks of being with you. This part is usually part of a longer honeymoon stage, so my guess is that he wasn't really for a relationship when he hooked up with you.