Unsure what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Unsure what to do
21
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 1:25pm

I've been in a committed relationship with my beau for over a year now. Our morals and ethics align, we think along the same lines in every area we've talked about. We've talked in the future about long term commitment to one another and is something that we both want. More recently because of living arrangements and additional complications, we can't have the contact or communication that we used to have. As well because of some serious illness in her family and other things weighing on her mind, she's lost the ability to feel. Feels nothing towards her family, children or me. She's told me that I still mean the world to her and to give her time and that she loves me expressing my thoughts and feelings to her and helps her to know that I'm still here and not running away. At the same time she says she doesn't know when we can be together.

My ego is bruised and ranting that she's pushing me away, that she's just telling me what I want to hear to let me down easy. My thoughts are saying, be calm, give her time and let her know you'll be there for her through any crisis. I don't want to jump to any conclusions or push her away. I care deeply about her and though life would go on if she wasn't in it, life is sweeter for her presence.

It hurts alot because we shared so much before and can't now, we were each others sounding board and loved talking because we could say and feel what we wanted and not be judged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 2:43pm

That's great alilwarped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 6:47pm
Okay..right now she is distracted and disassociating from all of her relationships because of a crisis...understandable. The best thing you can do is to be there supportwise for her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:53am
Thank you, that sounds wonderful, I will most definately give that a try. If anyone else has any suggestions on other ways I can show my support, I would be most greatful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 10:27am

sugarbaby_gal is right on target as usual with her insights (very impressive).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 9:51pm
I would like to ask the same question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 11:59pm
How wonderful that you have someone in your life who is actually supportive DURING your times of trouble.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 10:00am

Thanks for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 2:09pm

I read your other post under "How do you mend a broken heart" and it seems as though your heart is with your ex and not with this great guy who has been there for you during this tough time - maybe something for you to consider.


The way I see things like this is simple - if your ex were "the one" you would be together right now. However you are not and now you are coming out of a depression so it is best not to make any major moves in any direction right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 4:00pm

Wow, pretty powerful stuff going on in that game.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 4:22am

sugarbaby_gal you are right about a genuine