UPDATE- COnfused about husband
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| Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:44pm |
After finding that my husband was talking to his coworker about 5 times a day for like 45 min each time..many fights over giving him space and time, and a lot of verbal and emotional abuse..I left home for two weeks, now that I have been home for a week things have not improved. Yesturday I woke him up in the middle of the night to say happy anniversary and he screamed at me like I was a piece of garbage. I was so mad that when I was following him up the stairs I hurt my thumb on the stairwell- I bent it and strained it- he did not take it serious until he found aout by his mom that I had gone to the hospital. Anyway, today he calls me freaking out telling me to forgive hi m- the only problem is that yesturday I amde up my mind- as much as I want my marriage to work, he has hurt me so much, that I am thinking of seperating. I want to go back to my country and leave this horrible nightmare I am living- I do love him and I am really depressed and lonely, but I feel like he makes it worse. I miss having him in my life, but when wedo talk it is just hurtful things he says.."he regreats getting married..I amke him crazy..I tourment him.." On top of all this I have found more "evidence pointing that he is having an affair.."
But to you all..what do I do? Am I giving up too fast? I had a beautiful relationship with him until he ceated on me before our wedding, and then I became very unsecure and could not trust him again--that is what the problem originated from..and then it became the women..
I just dlon't want to regreat my decision. I love him but I feel like he no longer appreciates me or respects me- yeah he tells me he still loves me sometimes and that this si justa hard time we are going through....
UPDATE:
On Wed I thought he admitted that he is having an affair while we were having a huge argument. He left mad and left me crying home (when I checked the phone bill today- he had spoken to her the whole time he was gone) but anyways when he came back he was crying and telling me that he is so sorry and to forgive him, I was already in bed and he was trying to hug me and kiss me and I would not let him- it was like that all night..because of that reaction I swore he was fessing up to everything---since then he was so nice- asking me how I feel, and that he understands if I need to be alone..but I had not spoken back until today when I called him out of despair and asked him how he could have done it-(I felt bad with myself because I promised myself I would not call) he was like "WHAT?" What did I do? I could not believe my ears- he is back to denying it and pretending it is all in my head..he was even the one who ended the conversation telling me to leave him alone and that if I really think that he is with her- he wanted to know what I am doing still with him.
I still don't want to tell him everything I know, because it involved a lot of snooping around..the bad thing is that a lot of thethings and proof I have he could easily have an explanation to--what I am afraid of is always wondering years from now if he or if he was not having an affair since I have not seen him or I have not heard or read anything that shows their relationship- though I know they text eachother- I was never able to read any because he erases them!
Anyway- I know right now I am mad and ready to leave, but I do not want to regreat doing so once I leave...HOW DO I MAKE HIM CONFESS OR WHAT SHOULD I DO TO CATCH HIM?
As of right now I know that he talks to her or if he is with me he texts her- a nnight when he went camping he went to dinner (at the restaurant he did tell me he went) but by coincidence?????? in the same city she lives in, which is an hour away, and that night he went to the same gas staion he has been visiting more frequently in the same city..a hotel bill.Yes enough to let me leave now- but to give up my marriage for and not regret it? He was my best friend, he was my everything….

Carrie
"HOW DO I MAKE HIM CONFESS OR WHAT SHOULD I DO TO CATCH HIM?"
How will that make a difference? You
Whether or not he is actually cheating i thin kis besides the point now. He has caused so much pain, regret and lack of trust, that I doubt your relationship will ever be the same. Even if he isnt cheating on you, this "freindship" that he has has caused so much strife in your relationship with him, you'd think he would let it go because it wasnt worth it. But, he continues to cdall her, text her, etc. And whats worse, is that he does it right in front of you!
I agree that
Gina
p.s. you can just add to an old thread instead of starting a new one. Click on 'more' at the bottom of the posts.
Anyway, thanks for the supportJ I don’t know what I would do without all the great advice
* Tearyangel