UPDATE to "How do I say I need more?"
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| Thu, 04-08-2004 - 12:55pm |
These past few days have been amazing to me. First, like I mentioned at the end of my "How do I say "i need more" nicely post, I "had it out" with my boyfriend. I stuck up for myself. Told him that I wasn't going to let him walk on me any more. And it's been only 3 or 4 days since then, but we both seem to be changed people in a way. And he even noticed enough that he said something to me about it yesterday. We were at bowling yesterday and I toyed with the idea of having another glass of wine (I had to drive myself home) and well, he said "Ya know, hun... you've been happier than I have ever seen you these past 4 days. That's what I want for you. I just want you to be happy. Let lose, relax and have another glass of wine..." That made me smile.. cuz I truly have been happier. Part of my "happiness" also comes from something my mom told me in a recent e-mail while I was telling her of my whoes. She said "I read in a book one time that Happiness is a state of mind and you can't depend on other people to find it for you.. you have to find it for yourself. And you could potentially be happy in any situation there is..(Well, almost. You all know what she means here..). And I have taken that statement to the limit. And well, I truly quit depending on him to make me happy. I've decided to take action and do what makes ME happy all by myself. And in return, he's noticed and has been a MUCH BETTER person himself. And well, he's been great to me. Guess this is working, huh? Who-da-thunk!!!

That's great, I'm glad to hear it, but a few days of good behavior doesn't mean he
I KNOW I'll be able to report in 2 months and say everything is great. The one thing I don't know is whether or not he'll be in it. Bottom line, I am responsible for my own happiness. If he takes that away from me, then he's not the one. But, I have a feeling that this change for me will only change him for the better too.. and I have a feeling he will be here in a couple of months. Just incase, I will post!!
~Pam
That's a fantastic attitude!!!
When I got home last night, I worked later than he did. He was showered and sitting in the living room folding the worlds largest pile of CLEAN laundry and he wouldn't even LET me help. I did not , repeat, DID NOT even ask him to do that. He did it all on his own and he insisted that I grap a nice hot shower and lay down to take a nap and I did just that!! It was SOOOOO nice!! And like I said, after our "talk" he has told me, and I have felt the same, that we've been happier together than we have in a long time. I know, it's only been a few days but I really think we are heading in the right direction!!
~Pam
I was going to send you an email before bc I was reading a board on anxiety with relationships. I have a ton of anxiety and its starting to reflect on my relationship with my boyfriend. He just moved out on his own and loves it, but it seemingly starting to want to spend more time out with his buddies. Im depressed bc Im unemployed and my anxiety kills me bc I worry about what he is doing down there, although he has never given me any reason not to trust him. But he even told me the other day that he just wants me to be happy, and I have not been happy in oh so long. But happiness is a state that you have to find and Im working on it but its so hard! How did you do it?
Edited 4/12/2004 7:50 pm ET ET by girly282004