Update to Ignore/Silent Treatment! Done!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
Update to Ignore/Silent Treatment! Done!
4
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 9:54am

Ok, this is an update to my previous post Silent Treatment. He text me yesterday and this is what it said.....


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 10:11am

I think many people on this board will tell you what I'm going to tell you:


Closure is something you give to yourself when you accept that it is over and that you two are not right for each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 10:34am

I know you're hurting, but you cannot contact this man again in any way. He has told you, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to see you again. I know it sucks, but you have to move on because you don't have a right to force yourself on someone. And it doesn't matter that you've hung out over the past 8 months; once someone says no, it's no. Would it have been better if he had ended things in person instead of over text? Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that he has ended it and you have to accept it. (And, he never committed to you so there was no commitment either to end things a certain way)

In reading your post, I was glad you realized it would be psycho to try to talk to him at his home. I cheered when you wrote a letter instead....UNTIL I read that you actually went to his house and put it on his porch. No! That also falls into the psycho category. (It would creep me out if I told someone to move on and instead found something from him waiting for me on my porch).

Writing letters is good; sending them is bad. When you feel the angst, write your heart out and then destroy the letter; or go for a run; or go shopping; or talk to a friend; or spend quality time with your daughter. In other words, actively focus on your life instead of on his.

With time, the hurt will fade. All the best.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 1:13pm

It's important to respect his request to you. He is giving you a clear message. He does "not" want to communicate with you. He wants this to be over and for you to move on. You do not seem to hear him. It seems you keep pushing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 2:57pm

Please, please, do not contact him any more. You won't get him to listen, to give you what you think you need from him. He's not willing to give that to you at all.