update on new b.f. dating other. Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
update on new b.f. dating other. Advice?
5
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 6:08pm
Hi I submitted a problem and needed advice about a week and a half ago and got good advice (it was titled new boyfriend wants to date other?advice?). Thanks for the earlier advice. Now I need more advice. I went ahead and dated another guy whom I have found to be better for me in everyway then this last guy. This new guy is the best and we both already know that we are totally right for each other. The thing is that sooner or later I am going to have to tell the old b.f. that wanted us to date others about this new b.f. Also, I need to get my tupperware back from the old b.f. I need to know what, when, and how I should handle this. What do I say? When should I say it? How should I say it? Please give ANY advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 6:14pm
i think you should tell him as soon as you can and get whatever you need back from him soon if you don't wanna get it have a friend get it. Good luck Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 6:39pm
Let him know you've found someone. Tell him you want to get your belongings, try to make make arrangements and wish him well. If he harrasses you or you think he will on the first try, have someone go with you - a friend or if there are safety issues, ask for police escort before hand. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 7:09pm


Here is the old message

.........................

I met a wonderful man two months ago through eharmony.com. We hit it off real well. We both wanted to and decided to take things slow but at a good pace. We both have a good amount in common - we like the same shows, same board games, same kind of food, same lifestyles, same views on life, same activities and so on. We both live near each other which is also nice. In the beginning he introduced me to his friends and his brother and his wife and I got along well with them and they got along well with me. We both were physically attracted to each other from the start but we decided to take it slow but not too slow and soon enough we hooked up with each other. There was more than this, we were like good friends and we would talk well with each other about various different things and we would hang out with each other and with his friends/roommates. Also, I told him that he meant a lot to me and he told me that his freind suggested him to try online dating and he used to question online dating but after meeting me he saw what his friend was talking about. I felt like things were going great. We both graduated college a couple of weeks ago and right after that he went on a week long trip with his family. We didn't really talk that week but as soon as he got back we saw each other and both of us really missed each other. I thought things seemed just fine and normal. Then, within a week later he mentioned to me that he met a girl through his roommate and they hit it off and he would like to see where things go with her. He also said that after being with his family on the family trip it got him thinking that he should look more for a long term serious relationship and he is not sure if I would be good for that. I told him that I couldn't believe that he thought that. So ultimately I said to him that he has a right to date other people if he wants and he can go ahead and date her and I told him that I would maybe date someone else and he said that would be fine. He said that maybe this would be good for us. I don't know. He also said that if it is meant to be for us then we will be back together. So I guess I am just having a hard time understanding all of this. I need some advice on how to handle this whole situation and what your thoughts are on it. Please give any advice. Thanks.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 7:13pm
Are you even in contact with him? If not, why do you need to tell hum anything? Seems to me he will be happy for you so I doubt a police escort is needed. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 8:49pm
Thanks for the replies. I went over and successfully got my stuff back, wished him well, and there were no hard feelings. It was quick and easy. Glad to have that taken care of and out of the way. Thanks.