Update.. Still not sure.. Help!
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| Thu, 09-20-2007 - 8:32am |
Well the other day I posted about my Boyfriend of over a year telling me that he's "not sure" that he ever wants to have another child or get married. And I thank everyone for their advice..
It's been 3 days since we had that discussion about everything, and it seems that nothing has changed.. For Example, yesterday afternoon I left to go to my parents for dinner ( I go every week usually, and he doesn't come with me). Before I left I asked him to take the trash out and move the air conditioner (which had been sitting in the living room for 2 days) into the kitchen where it would be out of the way. Once again, before I left the house I reminded him of what I had asked, and he remembered. I got home and neither was done. Air conditioner still sitting in the same place, and the trash not taken out. I tried to call him.. No answer, and then I texted him with "Thanks for doing what I asked." I called my best friend ( to vent ) and she just said-- Typical Man.. But realized that it was very much making me mad!
When he got home I asked him if received the text and he said no. So I brought up the whole conversation. I asked him to do 2 things for me, and he didn't even do it.. I told him that I don't think or feel like he really wants to be here (with me) and that he doesn't put forth any effort at all to keep the house clean, or do anything having to do with the apartment unless I ask him. I told him that he should want to help me around a little bit , to take some of the responsibility since he does pay rent too! I'm not his maid, nor will I be. I asked him what he truly wants, and he says that he doesn't know..
He finally opened up and said that lately he's been feeling lost, and doesn't know what to do about it.. He's frustrated about our money situation ( we're short, but our bills get paid on time, and we're never late for something.. Just coming up with extra cash is hard.) He sees his friends ( who are 21 and 22) and see how they have nice vehicles, and money to spend, and he asks himself how come they can have money and nice cars, and not be broke. Like we are.. I explained that not everyone has car loans, personal loans, credit cards, etc. Not that we have all those.. Just making a point.. And they are younger, don't have as much responsibility.
I'm just kind of at my whits end.. I love this man to death, but I need him to show me that he's willing to put forth the effort in the relationship, just as much as I do.. Especially since that last conversation about him not knowing what he wants out of life.. Him not showing anything since makes me worry that's he sticking around for the wrong reasons.... Should I really stress about this or am I just being too sensitive.
Any advice is helpful :)

Thanks for the update.
I can understand you being worried and think you have every right to be. I think maybe he is feeling pressured right now. I think the best thing to do right now is not mention anything about moving the relationship forward for a while (maybe a couple weeks to a month). Give him some time to think about things. Then bring it up again and see if he feels any differently.
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Thank you for your response. It's really hard for me to patient and wait for him, but I will... Waiting is just putting this pit in my stomach.. Not knowing what's going to happen..
Once again.. Thank you!