Update on things

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2014
Update on things
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 7:33pm

I have an update on what's been happening over the weekend! 

In a nutshell, me and my partner split up for a few days, he got in contact with me, texting me, wanting to reconcile, the same time he was texting me, he went on to facebook, chatting up other girls (3) one if those was his ex, from 8 yrs ago...he messaged her, giving her his number. (My post all about it is here) 

Im finding it hard to get over what he's done! 

This is giving his ex his number has hurt me. sunday night, we were having a talk, some thing we haven't done in a long time. . Talking just like we used to.

I went in to the kitchen whilst he was watching the television. I went in to the kitchen to play on draw something (I'm addicted)! Haha

his phone was on charge next to me, I heard it go off but just dismissed it. . . 5 minutes later, I look at his phone, and there was a message with no name, just the number, with the words "why are you doing this!!!!?!" Nothing else, just those words.

now I lost my cool :( because from that message, it looks as if they've been talking? (Texting) what do you think?  I honestly feel like a bloody fool! 

He obviously says that they haven't, and that was the very first message from her, I think he's lying to me, yet again. 

Don't know what to do, we're apart right now, I'm liking my space, time to think, but he's texting me, telling me all the things that I want to hear. He's sorry, he's effed up, I'm the one for him, he loves me. . . etc, but I know, it'll only get worse. He's so good with words, it's unreal! 

Do you think that you could get over this if the shoe was on the other foot? Because seriously, I don't think I can. 

ahh guys, my head :( 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 8:32pm

I think that based on what you told us before, that your relationship was not good anyway--i.e., he was not taking care of you, he was going out all the time, etc. and now you add to that that he's not honest and he's contacting women behind your back, I wouldn't take him back--talk is cheap, you have to look at someone's action.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 11:40pm

You know very well he's playing you!  He knows what you want to hear, so he says it.  He DOES want to come back, because he lives there, but that doesn't mean he wants YOU!  He wants to play!  You need to pack his things and tell him you want him out of your life.......because he's ruining it.  See a lawyer about child support, and get him OUT of your life.  He is destroying you mentally and emotionally, and soon you won't be able to think for yourself.  He will keep coming back to you, by saying what you want to hear.......and then he will start again with other women.  He doesn't care if you find out, because he KNOWS he has you wrapped around his finger, and no matter what he does, all he need to do is sweet talk you, and he's back again.  Stop the revolving door......get rid of him once and for all.  That is what I would do, because that is what I did!  Got rid of a lying cheater, and was never happier. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2014
Fri, 04-25-2014 - 4:47am

Thank you both, I know, you're both right! It'll only happen again. I just need to be strong and keep thinking about his actions, not his words, as words to me, mean nothing

thank you so much for your replies