UPDATE: Topless Bar

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
UPDATE: Topless Bar
1
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 2:53pm
Okay.. Here is an Update..

First and foremost I would like to thank Shannon and hightek for the "realistic" advice I got.. and for the others who talked about my morals vs. his morals.. I think that doesn't come into play in this situation because he explained what really happened and and it had nothing to do with morals..

He picked me up to go over his mom's house.. and keep in mind it was his birthday.. so I didn't really want to get into it at first.. but he insisted on talking about it because as soon as I got into the car I started tearing.. He stated that he knows he hurt me and that what happened was totally at the last moment.. him and his friend had been drinking since earlier that day and on their way home saw a topless bar.. his friend INSISTED on taking him there for his b-day ( his friend is single- no thoughts about how this would affect me) my guy said at first he thought I was going to get mad.. but didn't really say no because like someone had posted, he really didn't want to say " my fiance won't let me".. After that he said there was no interaction with the girls all they did was drink..

He also said that the reason he tried to hide it at first was that he already knew I was going to be pissed..and since this was the first time, he didn't know how to tell me..

He did say that he knows he lost my trust and that he would do anything to gain it back, he said he will not go to these places and only went because his friend took him for his birthday, He also told me that what he did could have broken us up because it mattered to me too much .. I believed him because this IS first time.. and as shannon and hightek stated.. he is a guy and human to make a mistake..

I have my values and morals yes. But I also understand and have to be "realistic" about the situation.. He comes home to me.. loves me.. and does everything for me.. I can't blame him for making a decision that wasn't totally on him.. Yes he could have said no.. but I can picture him with his friend under the pressure.

Thanks for everything gals .. this really helped me..

Dora <br> Rolando 6/16/06 .. born at 41 weeks<br> Ruben 12/4/08 .. born at 29 weeks

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 3:26pm
Thank you for providing me with the best laugh I have had all day......

Erin

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