Update:His response to my email

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Update:His response to my email
2
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 8:05pm
Hi all,

I hope you all remember me. My orginal posting this week was "Decoding his behavior after the talk. Well, I broke down and emailed him on Tuesday, 3 days after we had "the talk" For those who don't know, I emailed him because I thought he was pulling away from me after we had a discussion last Friday of my need for us to become closer after 6 months. Then I did not hear from him in couple of days, when he said he would call. I had assumed I had scared him with the talk, and wanted to email him. This is his email response, please let me know what you think. I have not emailed him back because I don't think it warrants a response..or should I? I was thinking of waiting for him to call Friday, or maybe I should respond. Anyway, here is the email he wrote. Please let me know your thoughts.

HIS EMAIL:

Thank you for your kind note. Sorry I've taken so long to get back to

you! I've been slammed at work the last few days, and it looks like

it's going to continue through next week. My boss and coworker are out of the office this week and next.

I still had fun last Friday! I think being tired, having a bit of a

bug, plus too much to drink(HELLO!) had something to do with

me not feeling well. The queasiness continued throughout the weekend.

However, the night was not a bust by any means. Thank you for a

wonderful dinner - you have inherited your cooking talent from your

mother!

I feel we have become close over the months, and that we have fun when

we go out. I enjoy it and look forward to it. And I'm sure we'll

become closer as time moves on just as we have since we first met. I

also know that - turning 35 next month - I have some history to learn

from.

In all honesty, and I don't want to get into comparisons here, but you

should know I've heard this before. Maybe it's in my DNA. I've been

told that I'm hard to get to know beyond "friendship." That I'm hard to

get "closer to..." I disagree with this, sort of, and for you, my level

of 'closeness' may not be where you need to be. You need to tell me

this (or write to me about it) if this is what you feel. But I think I

touched on this a few weeks ago when we talked.

Thanks again Natalie.

Let's talk Friday...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 10:44am
I read your other post. It sounds to me like he is comfortable with having fun and a friendship but has problems with intimacy. Remember - people don't change other people, you can only change yourself. I would take heed of his warning - the fact that he has been told before obviously means he has issues. You might carry on down this path for another six months only to find that you are in exactly the same place -- or things might develop to the next level, but I would back off a little and let him pursue you.

Coolas

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 11:42am
To me it seems clear that he doesn't want a commitment. If you do, I'd move on.

MB