upset and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
upset and confused
1
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 5:00am
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago. We are still friends now at least that's what he calls it. We were together for about 1 year 7 months and 9 days. He has always been the type of person who normally keeps his feelings inside instead of saying it out. Although if he is annoyed at somethings, he'll just keep quiet but his actions speaks all. I really loved him and I still do. He has this problem of putting his friends and football first. I used to be the most important person to him but then it changed as time pass. He would rather spend time with his friends instead of me. When he finally has time for me, he tries to push everything into one day. Meet me and meet his friends. He meets his friends everyday but even on the day he meets me, he'll rush to meet his friends once they call him. I got so annoyed and I burst out once. It was the worst. I practically screamed and shouted at him but he just kept quiet and look at me. He left after I finish. He came back the next day, apologizing and we made up. We were ok for about few weeks then he starts doing the same thing again. It got to a point where I only see him twice a month although he lives only 15 mins drive from me. I got so upset I called him. We talked then he said its better if we were friends cause he doesn't want me to be sad anymore. I agreed but after that I became more sad and upset. I spent days crying. Two weeks after that he asked me out to the movies. When the movie started he asked to hold my hand because he said that he still isn't used to letting me go. I don't know how to explain the feeling. Like sad and happy. Mix feelings I guess. After that we got back to the normal dating thing again. Going out for snacks and movies but still maintained the status as friends although we were back to making out and stuff. He says he still loves me but still spends less time with me. Now although we are in the same school I rarely see him. Everyone in school still thinks that we are together. We didn't tell anyone about our break-up. Now I hear that a gal in his class likes him and he seems to like the attention. Lately I tend to worry so much and cry a lot. I'm in a new school and i don't have much friends. I've tried making new friends but some how it doesn't work. I miss him so much. I don't know why. There has been other guys who are interested in me but I tend to avoid them when I find out about it. I just don't have any feelings towards them and I don't want to pretend to them that I have feelings for them. Although my body is in class, my mind is often worrying. Worrying bout him. I've tried forgetting bout him but its just so difficult. please help....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 1:42pm
peaceb86...

Pianoguy kept thinking of an old Linda Ronstadt song ("I CAN'T LET GO") as he read your post. While there's no easy way to say this...YOU HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD AND LET THIS MAN GO!

There's no profile on you, but I'm assuming you're in high school? The whole point of the 4 years is to discover as many things about yourself as you possibly can! Not only will you experience "emotional events", but you should also be getting involved in activities that will accelerate and determine career and future education. The only way to do this is by talking to and interacting with others. Just because other guys might ask you out, this doesn't mean you should date them. BUT...getting to know about others and how they think, the various social activities available, and volunteer groups in your town should be your priority.

It's through these that you'll REALLY get to know the people who like and admire you. So give yourself permission to try...okay? Best wishes and warm thoughts from...

Pianoguy