upset and stressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2006
upset and stressed
3
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 8:54pm
I don't really know what to do anymore. Iam married have been for 2 years been together for 6. We have a 21 month old son, and my husband never wants to be home. We are both 25, and all he ever thinks about is hanging out with his friends, or if he is home he never wants to do anything with us as a family. Just recently he has been arguing with me a lot, about nothing important of course. And i just can't take it anymore. He says all the time that we should get a divorce, but i can't imagine doing that. I love him, and so does our son. he is a wonderful father, but he just doens'nt have the husband thing down. I have tried to get him to agree to go to counseling and he won't. That just makes me think that he could care less about our relationship. Which i think is true. I'm starting to think that divorce may be the only option, so that i won't be depressed all the time. I would just hate to do that to my son. I want him to grow having his dad around. Neither of our parents are divorced so that to me has never been an option in my life. I know marriage is hard work, but can it work if only one person is trying? Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 9:21pm

No, I don't believe a marriage can work if only one person wants it to. Even if you could get him into marriage counselling, the first thing the counsellor would ask is "do you both want to make the marriage work?". If he says "no", then the counsellor won't be able to do anything for you.

There is one thing that confuses me about your situation. If you husband so desperately wants a divorce, why is he still there?

I can't help but believe you need to have him make a choice. Either live in the house with his family and make the marriage work or leave. But living in this limbo is not doing anyone any favours.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 11:29pm
If he has told you he wants a divorce he's made it clear that he doesn't care about the marriage and you cannot make it work on your own - marriages are excruciatingly difficult when only one person is invested in it. Trying when he is not interested is only going to annoy him further. It seems to me that what you believe to not be an option is your only option. He's argumentative, disrespectful and he's told you he wants a divorce. Do you really want your son growing up believing it's okay to treat women that way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 5:33pm

Welcome to the board orlando875,


It sounds like your husband isn't as mature as you. Does he say why he thinks you should get divorced?


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