If you haven't told him that this upsets you, than you need to. Otherwise he doesn't realize how much he is upseting you but not getting you something for Valentine's Day. If you try to act like he doesn't bother you that much that he has no way of knowing that it does.
No, you're not nuts, you just don't feel courted and appreciated. I have to ask though if this is a larger pattern in your relationship. It seems as though it might be. You say that you "do" everything, all the planning, etc. and he doesn't seem to take enough intiiative. That's not good. Look at your entire relationship and where this incident fits in. Sounds to me as though it's time for you to step back and stop "doing and giving so much", and see what he is really putting into the relationship, emotionally and in every other way. Sometimes when our partner is not really giving to us, or participating, we overdo it, to block the reality out. Perhaps there is something much deeper that is amiss here. Marriage is a huge committment. If you are concerned about the relationship, go to a therapist as soon as you can and start talking and finding out what's really going on. It's better to be clear before you walk down the aisle.
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Welcome to the board loop-d-loop,
Have the two of you ever had a discussion about 'holiday' expectations?
We have had discussions.
So the two of you are at opposite ends of the level of importance.
Welcome to the board loop-d-loop,
If you haven't told him that this upsets you, than you need to. Otherwise he doesn't realize how much he is upseting you but not getting you something for Valentine's Day. If you try to act like he doesn't bother you that much that he has no way of knowing that it does.
glitter-graphics.com
glitter-graphics.com
yeah - the card I gave to him even addressed that.
I meant did he know ahead of time how important it was?
I understand how you feel. You wanted the romance on that day.
Ahhh...Valentines Day.
No, you're not nuts, you just don't feel courted and appreciated. I have to ask though if this is a larger pattern in your relationship. It seems as though it might be. You say that you "do" everything, all the planning, etc. and he doesn't seem to take enough intiiative. That's not good. Look at your entire relationship and where this incident fits in. Sounds to me as though it's time for you to step back and stop "doing and giving so much", and see what he is really putting into the relationship, emotionally and in every other way. Sometimes when our partner is not really giving to us, or participating, we overdo it, to block the reality out. Perhaps there is something much deeper that is amiss here. Marriage is a huge committment. If you are concerned about the relationship, go to a therapist as soon as you can and start talking and finding out what's really going on. It's better to be clear before you walk down the aisle.
Best wishes,
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