Verge of Breaking Up-Second Time Around
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Verge of Breaking Up-Second Time Around
| Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:32pm |
I need advice even though I am pretty sure I know the answer. Recap: 4 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years because he was lying, gambling and I realized he could never support me if we wanted to start a family. All we did was argue. I broke up with him and for 4 years I have not argued in any other relationships (but they obviously didn't work out). My "ex" calls me out of the blue this past February and asks me out to dinner. I go. He, at the time, was living with a girl. I told him that it could not continue and he has to decide who to be with. He broke up with her. He is now living with me. Within the first few weeks of getting back together I told him where I stand and wanted to make sure we were on the same page so we don't waste either ones time (I am ready for a family, dedication to each other, etc.). He said he was at the same stage. Now, that he is "warm and comfy" in our relationship again we have major problems. He does not walk into the door until 10pm every night (walks out the door at 5am for work) and on the weekends he finds excuses why we don't hang out together. So, because of this neglect, I am lashing out at him at everything. No matter how big or small the issue is. Some examples; I had laser eye surgery last week and he didn't even offer me a ride or any type of support (coincidentally, he had his tooth pulled the week before and I made sure to go with him to drive him home, went food shopping for soft food, etc., he is never home, when he is home, he doesn't talk to me--we just sleep in the same bed every night, he does not financially support me (if anything, it is the other way around), if he has a "free moment" he spends it with his friends instead of developing a friendship with me-for example, last night he spent the night-up until 2am at a go-go bar "shooting pool". And he thinks I am "controlling" him because I don't like these actions. When we get in a heated argument he always brings up his "ex". Last week, he looked at me and said "I love you xxx". The "x's" mean his ex girlfriends name. And then he said he did it on purpose to just get me angry. Five times since we have been back together, I was "all dressed up with no place to go" because he ends up running hours late and then I get so upset that I don't want to go spend time with him. Things are just getting worse. We both resent each other deeply (he resents me for breaking up with him 4 years ago, and I resent him for neglecting me). What would you do in my situation? p.s. In a VERY strang way, we do love each other.
Signatures On
| Sat, 07-10-2004 - 5:07pm |
You made a mistake getting back with this man. But you learned that he will not change. Break it off now and STAY away from him. Unless you want a live of heartache.
