Very confused about his emotions....
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| Tue, 05-01-2007 - 2:54pm |
OK. Friday I learned that he had a new flame (not yet a girlfriend but he was working towards it), I tried to keep me calm about it and all.
Since he cannot lie to save his life, I asked questions and found out she was a 22 yold, blond, self declared princess, bombshell ( I'm 32, not a princess and no bombshell). Well, by sunday I just couldn't take it anymore and blasted him and pretty much ripped him a new one. This was my first outburst since the beggining of this separation (end of march and he is still living with me till June 1st for financial reasons). I told him a bunch of stuff I never meant and still don't mean.
Well, today, he told me that he called her back today, told her he was married and that he was breaking things off right away because his relationship with me was more important than getting a couple of quickies from someone like her. He told me that us being great friends through all this is more important to him than anything else.He told her that I was his soul mate and he couldn't live knowing I didn't want him around, at least as a friend. He said that of everything I had said to him on Sunday, the thing that hurted him the most is when I said I would sit on the couch , eating myself to death (absolutly not gong to be the case, as soon as he oves out I'm making my own gym in the basement). He said he doesn't want that for me, the guy that will have me in his life will be more than lucky and he hopes that he will know how to treat me, because he didn't and even if he tried, he never did reach the levels of attention I deserve.
Anyone else is getting two different vibes from his actions vs his words? Keep in mind that this man cannot lie to save his life. He is also the one who wanted the separation.

Well, it does sound as though he wants you. He has broken off with this woman and let you know that he feels you are his soul mate. These are all wonderful "words". Now you must see if his actions match his words. It's one thing to talk, another to act. Do you want him back? Do you want to try again? If so, try and see if he can live up to all he has said. Are you sure he wants to resume the relationship as boyfriend, girlfriend and not just friends. Find out. Be clear. And make sure you are right that he can't lie to save his life. If all of this matches and is true, it's certainly worth another try.
Best wishes,
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Welcome to the board foreverhopefull,
The different things he is saying to you are very confusing. There needs to be some ground rules for this seperation. Like if you can see other people etc. Are you going to try to work on your issues at all? Like counseling or anything.
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I would want to work things out in a heartbeat, without even a second thought. I'm just not sure he feels up to working things out. I think he convinced himself he wasn't good enough for me anymore and he wants me to have a second chance at love.
The thing he doesn't understand is that I'm happy with him, I do feel like he's my soul mate and I really love being married to him. We've been together for 13 years and married for 5. I don't think it's over. I feel like we have alot of time left together.
I do know our relationship got to heavy to quickly, we didn't even date for a week before moving in together and getting engaged within weeks of meeting each other. It was too quick and we never got the chance to build a solid base before getting so involved with each other. We ended up loosing all our friends because of all this (we were too stuck to each other too quickly, we never did anything without the other person).
In a way, I feel that he will be back and work on things , but at a slower pace. We will take the time to look and listen more to who we are without changing who we are for the sake of the other. I'm sure we will not be apart long. He is already talking of comming back to the house to cut the grass, have a pizza and movie night once in a while, ect. I don't feel he is really done with this relationship, I think he just wants to erase the last 13 years and start all over the way it should have been...him wooing me off my feet, us having dates...like we should of had in the beginning, ect.
Do you feel that we have a chance at getting together again? Is there is a way we can put all the bad parts of our relationship (me trying to change him, him trying to change to make me happy and all along he is exactly how I want him...no changes needed)? Is it too little to late for us?
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