visciuosly addictive

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
visciuosly addictive
4
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 6:34pm

It's the second time round my bf and I are trying out to be together...we had our time to be single, to settle with someone else, and to fool around with other people...but we were not happy with any, just like we were happy together...so we decided that we are meant to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 7:19pm

Sounds like he wants to be comfortable with you, like friends who have low expectations for one another. That isn't a great way to have a relationship, and while you haven't yet found anyone who makes you feel as comfortable as you do with him, do you really think that this is THE guy for you?

I understand wanting to be with friends sometimes but if you're feeling neglected by him it's probably because he's not interested enough in you romantically to do anything more than just hang out watching TV. Or he could just be a person who doesn't enjoy a lot of activity in his life.

If I were you I'd really question if this is the kind of guy I want to be with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 12:13am

Welcome to the board papavera,


Sounds like a few things are going on....


::It's been 2 months now, and the honey moon period is over...i'm noticing he doesn't ask me out on dates any more, we end up at his place watching tv. He is tired after work, and the evening course that he is doing. He does not tell me he loves me anymore, just that he wants to be with me. I tried to be supportive, not be whiny, give his small gifts, show him that he still means a lot to me..


Consider reading Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman - my guess is that you want Quality Time with him and he's not meeting that need in you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 11:32am

Welcome to the board papavera,


Did he know that you didn't go out with friends because of him? Are you sure he invited his friends out or did they invite him out?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 3:18pm

To be frank, I think you are more needy and insecure than you think you are. No offense, but why would you pass up on a good time with your friends, just to sit in front of the tv with your boyfriend. THEN you reward him with gifts, love and kindness for being a boring, non-communicative, boyfriend who takes you for granted. Seriously, pushing yourself on to him will not make him love you more. Being your own person, standing up for yourself and having your own life will make you more attractive to the right kind of guy. He is not the guy for you. You shouldn't have to work this hard.

Please consider some of the reading materials suggested to you by the other posters, on self-esteem.