Waiting till we're married !!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Waiting till we're married !!!!
4
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 3:02pm
Hi,

Ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months now. Its going really good, and i really love this girl. Last night i found out that she wants to wait till she's married to have sex. She asked if i was Ok with that, and i said i was and could wait. But truthfully i'm not really ok with it. At least once a week we make out, and do about as much as you can do without actually taking our cloths off. Its strange for me to just stop then without, taking the next step. I dont know what to do I really love this girl and could wait if i had to. I just dont know if i should tell her how i feel or not. I'm afraid if i tell her, then she'll think i cant wait, or she'll feel obligated.....what should i do......

Thanks.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:01pm
I'm glad to see that you respect her decision to wait to have sex until marriage and that you don't want to do or say anything to pressure her into having sex before she is ready.

The bottom line in this relationship is if you are interested in dating this woman, then you have to be prepared for a relationship without sex. I think that after only 4 months of dating, it is way to early to start thinking about marriage, so rather than thinking about waiting until marriage to have sex with this woman, just look at this as a dating relationship without sex. If you can accept a dating relationship without sex, then go for it. I also think that it's probably not a good idea for you and your GF to be making out so hot and heavily since that will only increase the sexual tension and make you and she more likely to have sex regardless of her plans to wait until she is married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:06pm
thanks for your help lucy,

the one probelem is. She's actually the one who starts the "making out" I'm actually ready for sex, but she isnt. Thats why im confused. Shes sort of sending me mixed signals..if you know what i mean. I mean i stiil wont pressre her about it...that i can promise you, but i dont know what to think. Thanks for the help though
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:12pm
::She's actually the one who starts the "making out" I'm actually ready for sex, but she isnt.

This is because she wants to know she's desirable. She wants attention and affection and I'd venture a guess that it's tied to her self-esteem. You attention, affections and being aroused by her validates her as a woman, as wanted, as desired.

You need to share your feelings with her AND discuss what kinds of things are acceptable - kissing, petting, giving each other orgasms without intercourse - talk about all the options.


Carrie

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:26pm
I agree. Definitely talk to her about what is acceptible and what isn't, your feelings, and the mixed signals.