Is waiting worth my time
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Is waiting worth my time
| Wed, 06-02-2004 - 10:35am |
About 6 weeks ago my husband told me that he did not love me anymore and wanted to divorce. We spent very little time together to start with since he works out of town and I know it took a toll on the marriage because I was always depressed and it was very visible to him when I talked to him. He felt that I was being selfish in wanting him to be with his family instead of trying to be successful so he could provide better for us and he claimed those actions from me hurt him very much.
Now the tone is different from him and he says we can be ok with time but he has to deal with his own life right now and his emotions with me because they are not like they used to be so to see him as just a friend for now and he will tell me and show me when things get better. Problem is it is all that is ever on my mind so when we talk all I can do is talk about how I feel about us and I feel this is actually pushing him away. I do not know what to do, I cannot seem to leave him alone about it, and my patience to make my marriage work is extremely difficult. I need advice on what to do and someone please tell me if I am totally wasting my time because if he really does not love me then there is no guarantee he can be capable of it again, especially since he is never around me. What should I do????
Now the tone is different from him and he says we can be ok with time but he has to deal with his own life right now and his emotions with me because they are not like they used to be so to see him as just a friend for now and he will tell me and show me when things get better. Problem is it is all that is ever on my mind so when we talk all I can do is talk about how I feel about us and I feel this is actually pushing him away. I do not know what to do, I cannot seem to leave him alone about it, and my patience to make my marriage work is extremely difficult. I need advice on what to do and someone please tell me if I am totally wasting my time because if he really does not love me then there is no guarantee he can be capable of it again, especially since he is never around me. What should I do????

Do you think your marriage is suffering because he works so much or that he works so much to avoid the marriage?
'we can be ok with time but he has to deal with his own life right now and his emotions with me because they are not like they used to be so to see him as just a friend for now and he will tell me and show me when things get better.'
So he has total control over the marriage now and you have to it idly by waiting for him to tell you how he feels? How can he work out his problems in the marriage without you? This is no partnership.
It sounds like you need some marrige counseling if you two really want to stay married. If he refuses to go, that speaks volumnes about how committed he is to saving the relationship.
Edited 6/2/2004 12:23 pm ET ET by ciao_gina