Want him back!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
Want him back!!
1
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 5:45pm
Hi, last year while looking for a roommate I met this wonderful guy who I was fascinated by. We were very much physically attracted to each other as well as intellectually attracted to each other, and became roommates. Although I knew he seemed to have tons of female friends, he pursued me and I finally caved, I fell hard! It seemed after he knew I was in love with him, he started cooling a bit. We still spent a lot of time together, ate together, slept together (no sex but lots of cuddling, hugging, etc) and everything was great. Due to my jealousy and the fact that I am a very passionate, emotional person, we had a huge fight when I did and said things I didn't mean, such as name calling, telling him I didn't respect him, etc. He did none of those things to me, in fact I think I scared him a little bit. Now we no longer live together and have (due to my efforts) talked several times and are friendly to each other, however he says for me to try not to force things, he needs time, and to wait for him to call me, as I have been quite persistent. I love and miss him so much. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 7:14pm

I'm a bit confused by your post. Were you guys an exclusive couple, or were you just cuddling together while he was still maintaining relationships with other girls? If it's the second one, it's no wonder you were grumpy. ANYBODY would have been miserable in that type of a situation when they liked somebody the way you liked him. Also, if he didn't want to be exclusive the entire time you were living together, then it's doubtful he ever would want to be. In that case, I would say it's best to move on and cut off contact with him so you can start moving on and getting over him. As long as you maintain contact with him, you'll continue to want more and feel unsatisfied and miserable if you don't get it.

If you were in an official exclusive relationship with him and are now broken up, you need to give him the space he is asking for. Honestly, it sounds like the part about needing time is a line he might be feeding you so that he can break up with you for good and not have to say it. If he means it, then that means he needs time on his own to figure out what it is he wants. You need to give it to him, and he needs to come back on his own accord. Trying to make him get back together when he doesn't want to or feel ready to is only going to leave him feeling resentful. At least taking some time away from him will give him time to miss you and see what you mean to him. It's like that old cliche, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours for keeps. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with."