want my own kid, he has one

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
want my own kid, he has one
6
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 6:14pm
Married 1 yr to good man & stepmom to his 11 yr old girl. Having fertility issues and seeing specialist for it, husband now says he's not sure he wants a baby! I am hurt and confused? Debating seperation if he doesn't choose soon? Advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 7:10pm

As I'm sure you're aware, assisted pregnancy is not for the faint heated. My husband was always keen on having kids, however, I also knew that he would not consider fertility treatment if the need arose. His theory was that if it didn't happen naturally, it wasn't meant to be. As it is, fertility treatment can put huge stresses on a marriage - pushing them to breaking point - and he may not want the two of you to take the risk.

Unfortunately, there's no real right or wrong here. It could be a case of basic incompatibility. If he's not up for fertility treatment and you really want kids...divorce may be your only option.

But before breaking the relationship in your quest for children, please consider the odds of you falling pregnant with another man. I'd hate to see you end a good marriage but still be unable to conceive.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 7:14pm
Has he said why he doesn't want to have more children?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 7:23pm
Good question. I assumed he got cold feet with the prospect of fertility doctors and such, but perhaps it's something else?
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 10:16pm

Well, did you marry your husband because you love him and want to be with him or so you could have a child?

If you married him to have a child then leave. If you married him because you love him, stay. Why are your feelings more valid than his to the point where you would up and leave and probably hurt his daughter and your husband?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Sun, 03-18-2007 - 11:44pm

Having a child is a magical thing though, it's something that no one should be denied. Now, if her husband married her knowing she wanted a child of her own and it was understood that he would go along with it, it's not fair for him to change his mind in the middle of the game.

Everyone has a right to reproduce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 11:43pm
Thanks for your reply still confused but working through with the help of responses from you guys.
peace.