Wants me to serve him ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Wants me to serve him ?
22
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 1:47am

edit




Edited 3/17/2009 11:51 pm ET by sireanita

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 8:12am
Dear Sireanita, I have heard of many latino cultures where the women waits on the men folk hand and foot.But if you don't want to create a monster, you have to put your foot down now. My mother's husband was like that and he wasn't latino. Just a lazy a*s and she'd practically trip over herself to cater his every needs. She got nothing and I do mean nothing in return. Not even so much as a thank you. What really irked me was he had my nephew demanding her to his every becon call as well. when I found out I was appaled! I feel your pain and frustration. God did not put you on this earth to be his servant, and slavery was abolished way back. He needs a wake up call. Give him back to his mommy for awhile and let her deal with him. You have enough on your plate than to have to play nurse maid to him. I taught my sons' at an early age how to cook, do laundry, sew, and to this day their wives thank me for it. He'll make you grow old before your years if this is to continue. I have a rolling pin I'll send ya to give him a wack, I mean wake up call if ya want. Hugs, Lu
330022855_d896d0935_m
"IMAGINE" All The people, Living Life in Peace...................., "You may say I'm a dreamer; But, I'm not he only one." "Be A Dreamer and Imagine."
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 8:13am

How long have you been together? This strikes me as a serious and insurmountable incompatibility. He wants to be in a superior position to you and if you're not used to that kind of family structure already, you will never be happy with having to feel inferior to him all of the time.

I would strongly consider moving on. You have too much to deal with in your own life to play Maid for someone else. I can't imagine he really respects you. Also remember that your child will imitate whatever relationship you have with the primary male in his life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2009
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 9:51am

Tell him that this is the United States and it is not women's custom to serve the man. He will wait until you serve him?? GOOD let him wait....let him starve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 11:30am

You dont mention whether or not the two of you are married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 12:55pm
He seems to be used to a very old-fashioned lifestyle, while you are used to the 21st century way of life where a man is expected to be able to fend for himself. If the old lifestyle works for his parents, then that's great for them. Maybe his mother has never known anything else. Maybe she truly feels blessed and lucky to have her husband pay for a roof over her head and feels that doing the domestic chores and serving the men dinner is a small price to pay in exchange. Whatever her reasons are, you are not her. You have to decide if this lifestyle is right for you- if you can really be happy and comfortable living this way. It doesn't sound like this is the life you want for yourself. Being a single mother is not easy either, but you do have to pick between the two. He's not interested in adapting his view of male-female relationships to the way you see things, so you have to either accept the terms or move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:55pm
She's not in the US...she's in Latin America....IMHO that makes big difference!

Photobucket



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:55pm
sorry bout the hat.

Photobucket



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 3:44pm

Hi the_red_queen,


Hats are welcomed here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 3:47pm

Welcome to the board sireanita,.


Living where you do, customs, culture and traditions, well, that is what he expects.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 6:11pm

I am of two minds on this one. Part of me thinks you are seriously over exagerating
and part of me thinks your guy is being a spoiled brat! I mean it's one thing for him
to want you to serve him, he's used to it cause his mother did it for him and as the bread-
winner in your house I can understand his desire to be waited on a bit after work (it's not
nessasarily right...but I understand it) but this whole thing about the food not even being
there at all unless it's on his plate? Ridiculous! Is he blind? Or "slow"... he doesnt know
where the freaking stove is?


On the flip side though when it comes to you being soooooo terribly busy with a 1 year
old and cleaning and grocery shopping, well here's where I think your begining to throw
yourself a bit of a pity party. Plenty of women out there cook, clean, care for a child
AND work full time! And they dont have a cleaning lady like you do. I'm sorry but what
is it exactly that has you up to your eyeballs in work?


I was once the stay at home mother of a 1 year old (he is now 8) and to be totally honest
I found myself actually getting bored! Between playing with the baby, bathing, dressing,
feeding and chaging the baby, cleaning house (with no weekly cleaning lady) and making
homecooked meals for my then husband (whom I served said meals too) I still had time to
take breaks during the day to read a bit of a novel or watch 30 minutes of TV or just
surf the net. Your right.... 1 yr. olds do need to be watched constantly but they have
these wonderful inventions called playpens and my 1 year old was happy enough to sit in his
for 30 minutes to an hour, with a gaggle of his toys while Mommy cooked dinner. Right now I work fulltime, attend school, cook, clean, do homework and look after my loved ones and still mamnge time for myself. I dont think you're managing time well. Sorry, just my 2 cents.


You are right that he is being a

Photobucket

Pages