we are both depressed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
we are both depressed.
1
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 2:57pm
i am 26 and my boyfriend and i moved in together six months ago after a long, off-and-on, partly long-distance relationship. things were going well until recently, when my boyfriend was demoted at work AND found out that he had not graduated from college.

now he is incredibly depressed, and since i am also prone to depression, he is dragging me down with him. he won't talk about what's happening. instead, he shuts me out and plays computer games all the time. he gets angry with me when i try to express myself to him, and we haven't had sex in nearly a month. i feel unloved and unattractive, and i feel very lonely and distant from him. i don't know what to do. i can't get him to have a mature conversation with me. i can't get him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. if we make plans, it's with his friends, not the two of us.

i'm ready to walk out of this relationship, because i don't know how we can make it as a couple if we can't talk to each other and trust each other.

can anyone please help me? i love him terribly and i don't want this to end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 4:10pm
sel78...

From what you described, it's fairly safe to say that your b/f and you WON'T make it as a couple! Pianoguy understands his depression over the loss of work since we've "walked a mile in the same pair of shoes"...but...you have to start looking out for yourself!

If a man would rather "bury himself at the computer" instead of addressing the issues that need to be addressed...YOU CAN'T PERSUADE HIM TO DO OTHERWISE!

Take a 30-day break from him by moving back home or by sharing a place with a girlfriend.

Move on witn YOUR life...and perhaps he'll follow suit?

Good luck!

Pianoguy