We were engaged. We just broke up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
We were engaged. We just broke up.
1
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 5:12pm

He's in the military, stationed in Japan. I went to visit over the summer and since I have been back things have been rocky.


I loved him unconditionally. Yet, I was always testing him. I guess I just didn't think I was worthy of his love, or I was cynical that real love actually found me. I pushed him away with my threats to break-up.


We had a discussion and things just escalated. During the whole thing he said he had been happy, wouldn't change a thing, didn't want to break-up, etc. By the end of it, he had dumped me.


He says he still loves me but doesn't see a future with me right now. I guess our rocky ways finally took its toll. He said we can talk in a few days and see how it goes. He said he has been known to be wrong and might change his mind. I know he really loves me and he does seem still conflicted.


Is there anything I can do to fix this? Is there any hope for us?


I KNOW I need to work on my insecurites, I don't know how to convey to him that.


What is my best plan of action? I am really hurting and blaming myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 6:20pm
He probably wants to see some sort of tangible form of you getting help. Maybe seeing a counselor or therapist about your insecurities (which you should absolutely do before going into a marriage). To him that would mean you're serious about getting over this. I think it's wise of him to call off the engagement until he sees improvement in an area that could very well damage your future marriage irreparably.