We work together....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
We work together....
1
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 1:37am
I am a female police officer. I met my boyfriend of three years at work. We work opposite shifts and only have 1 or 2 days off together. I'm at work when he's awake and he's at work when I'm asleep...it's tough....we don't live together so we don't get to see each other much these days. Needless to say, I work with mostly men. Now that my shift has changed and we don't have much time together this has become a major problem. My boyfriend has become ridiculously jealous. My co-workers treat me like one of the guys...boyish conversations and sharing of bodily gases and all..... there isn't anything for him to be jealous of but when I put the shoe on the other foot...if he worked with all females I'd probably lose my mind. I'm not sure how we got where we are but I have realized we are both stupidly and unreasonably insecure.... help!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:29am

Well, this is your job and he met you at it. Unless he can handle it, handle all your contact with guys, this may not be the right relationship for you. All people have some level of insecurity, but they have to develop basic confidence and trust in both themselves and their partners in order to bond deeply and allow a realtionship to grow. Unless he can find the trust in you, then he is not the right person. I would guess that his deep jealousy comes from his own background. It would probably be there in many relationships, and is only more pronounced in your case because you are with guys all the time. Tell him that he needs to work these out if he is to feel comfortable and secure in any relationship. He needs some help in doing so. Unless he's willing to face his personal demons and take the risk of trust, this may not be healthy for either of you.


All good wishes,