To wear or not to wear?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2008
To wear or not to wear?
4
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 6:28pm
I dressed up in naughty lingerie for my boyfriend last night. I have never dressed up for him before. We have only been together for about 5 months. He seemed to like it a lot. However, the lingerie I put on for him was lingerie I've had for a while. I've worn it for my ex-boyfriend over 4 years ago. I didn't stop to think about it not even once before I was planning on wearing it for my current boyfriend. But then, once i had it on, I stood there and realized I felt a little odd dressed in lingerie I had worn for my last boyfriend that I was about to wear for my current boyfriend. I thought I was being crazy so I decided to ignore the feeling. When my boyfriend saw me his eyes lit up! He was kissing me and touching me and... anyway. In the middle of kissing me he asked where and WHEN I had purchased the lingerie. It was almost as if he knew I had had it for a while and that I had probably worn it for a past boyfriend. All of a sudden I started to feel very uncomfortable that I was wearing lingerie I had worn for my ex 4 years prior. Has anyone else experienced this?? Am I being totally crazy or do you think I and my boyfriend are justified to feel this way? I didn't talk to him about it. I played it off like I had been "saving it for a rainy day." So I still have not told him that I have worn the lingerie for my ex before and that I've had it in my drawer for 4 years. Should I tell him that?? Am I overreacting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 8:48pm

Do you feel bad wearing jeans that you had when you were dating your ex?

Then you shouldn't feel bad about lingerie. No need to say anything. If it makes YOU feel more comfortable, buy some new stuff - but it's clothing belonging to you, not your ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 9:57pm

Oh honey, under NO circumstances are you to ever tell him the lingerie was first "experienced" by someone else. If he asks, the "rainy day" answer was perfect. And it's technically true.

....."It was almost as if he knew I had had it for a while and that I had probably worn it for a past boyfriend."..... Realize that this is YOUR mind playing tricks on you. It really is. Don't fall for it.

Sometimes your best assets as women is our ability to maintain a sense of mystery about ourselves. Don't mess that up by being too forthcoming with unnecessary facts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 5:55pm
Your response was perfect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 2:05pm

Welcome to the board ribbit1982,


I don't think you need to feel bad about wearing it or yhat yu need to tell him it is old.