Wedding coming up but I want someone els
Find a Conversation
Wedding coming up but I want someone els
| Sun, 01-11-2004 - 9:37pm |
Help! I am supposed to get married in a few months to a man I love very much. He is the only man I've been with since my divorce a couple of years ago and we've been togeather over a year. We have a lot in common and we've even entered into some large investiments togeather (house, etc--I do live with him). The problem is man #2. I met he and my fiancee at the same time--man #2 was also interested in dating me, but I didn't choose him. We have all 3 remained very good friends. Now, I'm strongly attracted to man #2. He's all I can think about and if he said he wanted me, I think I would call off the wedding to be with him. He's playing it cool--telling me it's just jitters and such, but I know he has feels for me as well, we've just never acted on them because I've always been with my fiancee. The attraction sexually has always been between man #2 and myself. I'm even always been very critical of the women he's dated!! I love my fiancee but I'm in a panic worrying I'm with the wrong guy! My first marriage was terrible--could this be serious jitters? I need advice so much and any is appreciated!!!! I'm flipping out!!

By the way, even if you wind up leaving, do not jump into another relationship with anyone. The chances of it working out are slim. And man #2 may be a diversion or a way out, unconsciously.
Edited 1/12/2004 12:42:22 AM ET by ciao_gina
Take a deep breath and get yourself to a good therapist - right away. You need to sort this out before the wedding is upon you. Sometimes fear of committment (and marriage itself) can cause a person to develop all kinds of symptoms, including attraction to someone else. However, you need to be sure about what's going on here, if you have such strong feelings for another man before your wedding date. You've been divorced once and do not want this to happen again. You need to discover whether or not there are issues in your relationship with your fiancee that may need to be worked on and that are causing you to feel as though you need another? Obviously, there is much good in the relationship or you wouldn't have bought a home together, moved in together, etc. Most likely, you have not dealt with the underpinnings of this relationship sufficiently or handled issues that are bothering you.
You need trained, objective help with this. The answers won't come from someone online. You need to sit down and sort out what's going with someone who can help.
Best wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.