Weird behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Weird behavior
16
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 2:09am
Hello there, I'm going through some relationship problems and need some clarity from you good folks out there.
About a week ago I had a fight with my bf whom I've been dating for almost a year now. We've had fights before but usually hes picking on me and I end up apologizing bc I would rather spend time w/ him than being angry at each other. This time however I accused him of doing smth wrong, he totally blew up and told me never to speak to him again. Of course I didnt believe he meant it and was probably heat of the moment reaction. Few days later, I told him I missed him and he said I was crazy. After that, I came to the conclusion he wasnt feeling any remorse or regret at what he said and I told him to take good care of himself and I'll never bother him again. He said he'd talk to me about it some other time. Since then, we havent talked but he sends me random emails of news articles or tidbits. I am truly confused. What kind of behavior is that? If he didnt want to talk to me ever again, why is he emailing me random stuff?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 6:42am
Because he's still pissed and trying to decide if it is worth continuing with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 9:30am
I agree with americajin, he's barely maintaining contact while he figures out whether or not he feels good enough about the relationship to continue it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 1:46pm

Welcome to the board lentilbeans,


It sounds like he is hurt and trying to figure out what he wants so he is letting you know that he hasn't forgotten about you by still emailing you things. If you want to stay with him, try sending him an email asking him if he is ready to talk to you about everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 1:59pm

Welcome to the board lentilbeans,


::We've had fights before but usually hes picking on me and I end up apologizing bc I would rather spend time w/ him than being angry at each other.


Picking on you? As in emotionally abusive to you and you apologize?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 4:27pm
and now he asks me if I wanted smth from his busineess trip. I don't know how to respond or react.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 5:10pm
You could just tell him "No, thank you, I don't want or need anything from someone who doesn't want to speak to me anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 5:17pm
LOL. You are too funny. I just said no thank you and stopped talking to him.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 5:17pm

It sounds to me that the way your relationship has been going you have been picked on, and then not stood up for yourself. Instead, you apologized. This time you turned the tables around and stood up for yourself and expressed your feelings, (which is healthy). Your boyfriend didn't like that, and he wants to teach you a lesson, not to do it again. So, he's punishing you for saying how you feel. By sending little emails, he's trying not to lose you, but keep you dangling on a string and confused. All of this is manipulative behavior, and very unhealthy.


It's very important to learn how to stand up for what you feel (especially for yourself), and if you feel he's done something wrong to be able to say so and talk it out. This person is not open to having honest, equal conversation. He wants to dominate you. Don't fall for it. This is an abusive situation and it's not possible to grow and be healthy in a situation like this. If I were you, I'd move on, and practice having respect for myself in all future relationships.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 5:33pm
It is very confusing to be in a relationship with someone who ends it all with every argument.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 1:24am
Hes initiated contact again but I am unsure what I should do and havent replied yet. I dont want to play games but I dont want to fall for any manipulations either. I dont know if its a good idea to talk to him or should I just not respond. I hate to be a cynic but it just seems that he only wants me when he Im not available. Is it possible to believe that he is sincere and truly wants to be w/ me? I am thoroughly confused and am too blind to make good judgements. Answers please!!!

Pages