Weird behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Weird behavior
16
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 2:09am
Hello there, I'm going through some relationship problems and need some clarity from you good folks out there.
About a week ago I had a fight with my bf whom I've been dating for almost a year now. We've had fights before but usually hes picking on me and I end up apologizing bc I would rather spend time w/ him than being angry at each other. This time however I accused him of doing smth wrong, he totally blew up and told me never to speak to him again. Of course I didnt believe he meant it and was probably heat of the moment reaction. Few days later, I told him I missed him and he said I was crazy. After that, I came to the conclusion he wasnt feeling any remorse or regret at what he said and I told him to take good care of himself and I'll never bother him again. He said he'd talk to me about it some other time. Since then, we havent talked but he sends me random emails of news articles or tidbits. I am truly confused. What kind of behavior is that? If he didnt want to talk to me ever again, why is he emailing me random stuff?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 7:39am
You're too absorbed in what he's doing and thinking. Why don't you think about what YOU want? Is this the way you really want to be treated by someone? As other people have said, he's manipulative. You do not have to play games with him, but try to decide if a guy who treats you this way is really what you want. If you think about it I'm pretty sure you'll conclude that he isn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 11:28am

Hi,


I agree with egg..you need to be honest about what it is you want. Do you want a serious committed relationship that is progressing, or something casual on and off? If you're ok with casual, keep responding to him, but then you can't be upset if he pulls a disappearing act again.


However if you want something stable and healthy and think he is worth investing time in, then you need to cut out the games (or force him to) and talk to him upfront. Tell him if he want to talk about some of your issues, then fine, let's do that and then see where we're at. Otherwise, stop calling me for silly reasons and there is no point in pretending things are normal. Like you said it appears he'd like to have you around when convenient but not be in a real relationship.


Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 6:39pm

eggbert's advice is good - stop focusing on his behavior. What do you feel you get out of your relationship with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 3:18am
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2008
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 12:35pm
I hope by convenient you weren't trying to judge me. Both parties know about each other. I just wasnt ready to write down every single detail of my life. That was an unnecessary comment. I did not come to the boards for a moral judgement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 1:43pm

....."I did not come to the boards for a moral judgement. ".....

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