What is this all about?
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What is this all about?
| Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:17am |
I would like some of your feedback on a situation I am in. I have know this guy for a while. There has always been an attraction. We recently took a little further when he made the first move of a kiss. At first I had a huge wall up. He was coming on strong as if he wanted to be a couple. You know asking is there a chance for a relationship etc. Well he left out of town and I let my wall down and sent him an email saying I was willing to take a chance. He asked me what changed my mind? I told him what is the worst thing that can happen? He said a broken heart. I said it would not be the first time my heart has been broken and it would probably not be the last so why not live life? Upon his arrival back in town I could sense something was not right. He was not affectionate like before and was kind of distant in fact very distant. I let him know I could sense something was wrong. He finally told me he thought it was what he wanted but it really was not. He said he did not want a relationship with me but loved spending time with me and being with me. I asked him what made him change his mind. He said circumstances. (like he lives out of town and would not be back for a while) Why would a guy come on so strong and then back way the heck off like that? I was the one that wanted to keep it on a friendly level in the first place. Is it because the chase is off? Is he afraid of something? Any insight is greatly appreciated.
jo

Whenever a man has time and space to think things over...and consider the consequences of "getting closer"...he'll often back off! Doesn't mean the friendship isn't there and it certainly doesn't mean your friendship CAN'T grow!
But if friendship is all HE wants with you...give him this...and NOTHING ELSE!
Pianoguy
I get two things from your post and it's probably an either or choice...
1) he likes the thrill of the chase
or
2) he felt rejected when you didn't jump at the chance for a relationship when he first offered.
Go slowly, as there will be some push-pull going on.
PS. from another man - my bf wrote this:
I think there is also the chance that he was willing to say/imply
anything for the chance to get in her pants (he really didn't say what
type of relationship, i.e., friends with benefits). When she said what
she said about wanting the relationship and willing to chance the broken
heart, maybe he no longer was willing to break her heart to get into her
pants (more details into the type of relationship).
Also, he could have met someone else while out of town..."circumstances"
changed.
Edited 8/9/2004 2:50 pm ET ET by itwinflame
Carrie