What Can I Do???
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What Can I Do???
| Fri, 08-13-2004 - 11:06am |
I have a question for all you Ladies, and guys too. My bf and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been living together for about 10months. I love him very much, but lately I've been having a problem with him trying to control things. He's they type where he always likes to be with his gf and hang out with his friends and gf at the same time. He doesn't spend really any time with them without me. But I like to spend time with my gf's and have just "girl time" with them, plus I can't be around someone 24/7 I like having a little space. He doesn't understand that and I've tried explanning it to him, but he doesn't understand it. He gets really upset when I mention going out with my friends and tries to lay the guilt trip on me saying that I care more about my friends and hanging out with them, then I do about him. I wouldn't mind spending time with both my bf and gf's, but he doesn't care for most of them and vice versa and I don't want to deal with them fighting or whatever. He thinks that everytime I go out with my friends that they are trying to get me to break up with him and hook me up with someone else. Plus he thinks Im out cheating on him if Im out with them(just because there single, he thinks I'll act like I am) I tell him over and over that that is not what is going on, but he refuses to see it that way. When I do go out he'll call me all the time or send me text messages. I don't know what I can do. How can I explain to him that Im not doing anything? How do I get him to stop his controlling/jealousy/insecurity???

Sounds like a lot of insecurity here. He gets to hang out with his friends, as long as you're in his sight. But not the other way around? Even a couple in a relationship must maintain their separate identities.
I would recommend a true, sitdown heart-to-heart. You may have covered it all before, but make it clear that this type of control is unacceptable. Just my approach...
Guess it all comes down to this: you've been together a little while, you're living together, but a year and a half ain't nothin like a lifetime together. Are you prepared to live life by his rules for the rest of your days?
Best of luck~