What can I do

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
What can I do
2
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 10:22am
Ok I Trust my boyfriend because I know he has morals but the thing is that it seems as though his labido might go against that when I'm not around. So I don't really know how to accept the fact that he might be comparing other wemon to me when I'm around but mainly when I'm not around is it wrong that it bothers me and what can I do to keep my mind off of this "I can't trust him" deal when I should be completely confident that he'd never cheat on me or do anything to hurt me??

I love him and all but I think this also may have to do with us being so young and the fact that we're not ready to grow up and that I know that I love him and want him forever but if my fantasies could ever come true I might choose them over him if it's more than I ever imagined and I know that'll never happen for me so I'm wondering if some how he could be feeling the same because I know he could realize his dreams and end up not wanting me forever.

how do I shake this fear??

I'm scared to get hurt again and I know he knows this so I have to learn to trust him what can I do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
In reply to: hazel636
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 11:21am
I don't really know how to completely rid oneself of insecurities. Since it's bothering you this much, I wonder if there isn't some basis in reality for it or if maybe it's a past issue that is being aggravated by this situation. Without knowing your bf's behavior, I can't comment on it specifically. I do understand the feeling of possibly being rejected or wanting something better for oneself. My guess is that you sense something may be going on with the relationship, and self-protectively, you start thinking of something else yourself. Have you talked with friends you can trust that know both of you? They may be able to give you a more clear, objective view of the situation. I guess I would say, trust your gut, but don't necessarily follow your desires, they can be misleading. Best wishes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
In reply to: hazel636
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:38pm
Have you talked with friends you can trust that know both of you? There are NO mutual friends here. I can't trust any of my friends or his friends, his friends would laugh at me. I don't think they even like me. So I don't really know what to do that's why I came here.