What could this mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
What could this mean?
7
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 6:00pm
I have been flirting around with this guy I met through work, we both work for non-profit organizations. Once before he called me over to pick up information for work and when things got heated and we kissed,then things got a little heavier and he asked me to give him oral after I was kissing on his neck. I refused, I thought it was a little strange he would not let me kiss him in the mouth. This past week we were away at a conference together and about 3:00 in the morning he called, and the first thing he said was that I had been avoiding him and acting like I did not know him all day, I then asked if he wanted to come up,he has stated to me many times that he thought I was cute and that he was feeling me since the day he saw me. When he got up there we laid there for a few minutes and he said he hurt his shoulder so I stared rubbing it for him, he was moaning i started kissing him on the face and neck he was obviously "excited". But when I tried to kiss him on the mouth again he drew back. He then asked me to go down on him, and I explained to him that I had never done that before, and then he stopped me and stated we would wait then.He then got up and put his shirt back on still excited and was saying thae it was not that he did not want to have sex with me but we would wait until the timing was better, we then hugged and we were wanlking to the door and he took my shirt off and my pants off but he was still making his way towards the door. I have lately started to think about him alot , but what is he thinking, feeling and why does he act this way? How should I react, and is he interested in me? I had told him earlier that I did not want to be with him , I just wanted to sleep with him, but now I am not so sure if this is how I feel. Could this be why he is not allowing himself to be with me? Is he trying not to have feelings for me? HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 6:47pm
what does it mean? it means he is a selfish jerk. he wants a girl with a mouth to give him oral and instead of finding some hooker, he is trying to get it for free.

He is not kissing you because he is not interested in you. he may not be pressuring you for sex, but he is def. trying to get what he wants from you.

You say you told him all you wanted was sex so that is why he is acting like this... i doubt you can go back and change your mind. reason is that men make a judgement about a girl after they get to know her -- either she is girlfriend/relationship material or she is just a girl to mess around with. And since he is acting like this - it sounds like he is not going to want to start a real relationship with you. and if u are unsure if you want a guy friend to just have sex with then you'd better just leave him alone.

Also if you do want a guy friend to have sex with -- i would not have that kind of relationship with some1 i work w/

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 6:50pm
Is he interested in you? Doubtful, although he's certainly interested in getting you to give him a blowjob. If he was interested in you as a person, then he might ask at least ask you out on a proper date and take some time to get to know you rather than stripping his clothes off constantly at work and asking for you to give him oral sex.

How you should act depends on what you're wanting. If you told him that you only want to sleep with him, then it sounds like he's up for that. If you're looking for anything the slightest bit meaningful, forget it. I am getting this sense that he's only looking for his own gratification though. Why is it you are interested in him anyway?

You should also consider not doing this sort of thing at work. You're likely to end up with a very awkward situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 8:43pm
The last time you posted this you mentioned that you were married. Why did you leave that out this time?

He wants you to give him oral sex. That is what he means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:49pm
Gina,

I am no longer married , my divorce has went through so I did not think my prior marital status was important. I said at my last post I was waiting for my divorce to go through and it has. If not I would have metioned it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 12:06am
Being recently divorced and on the rebound *is* important though. It adds another layer to the problem and gives posters more information to better respond and help you. Another reason why you shouldn't spend your time worrying about a guy who just wants sex with you. You also said last time that you weren't going to give him a second chance yet you did.

You aren't in a place to see the situation clearly. Take time away from all men and you will do yourself and any future relationship a big favor.


Edited 10/11/2004 12:58 am ET ET by ciao_gina

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 2:54am
So far no one has told you the REAL reason he did things the way he did. I don't mean this as an insult. It's just the facts of "why." Men that frequent lots of prostitutes never kiss them to avoid herpies and they won't have sex with them to avoid aids or other sexual diseases. Oral sex is all they will accept. The fact that he did'nt offer money means he thinks of you as a "dumb"tramp. Stop setting yourself up with creeps by being so easy. Get a grip and wait for a good guy to take you out on a date or two at least. Please believe me, I don't want to insult you just give you the sad facts so you can have better and more fulfilling relationships. This guy is bad news.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 11:57am

Hon,


I have replied to you so many times before when you posted here about the initial problem. And you ADMITTED that you knew he was using you and began to empty your emotions about how angry you were and etc etc.


Apparently you did not learn your lesson.


I remember your post very well back a month or so ago.


First time around... shame on him. Second time around...shame on YOU,


listen i understand you are insecure, and seriously emotionally damaged from your husband... and desperately want this man to want you. But he doesnt!


Oral sex is the MOST inpersonal sexual act thinkable, and off course you get nothing and he gets everything.


he is giving you the biggest signs... he might as well put a billboard in your fron lawn stating "Please let me USE YOU"


but again... dont feel sorry for you if you keep letting him do this. HE DOES NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU....so stop wishing he did and STOP worrying about what he thinks and MOVE ON.


there are so many great guys out there waiting for you but with self esteem like that you'll never attract them.



Love Sara