What to do??
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What to do??
| Thu, 05-29-2008 - 11:03pm |
My boyfriend and I have had such a rocky 4-year-long relationship, we just took a 2-month break. Now he's finally decided he's ready to try relationship counseling (I'm 26, he's 31). We absolutely LOVE each other, we just argue way too much. Anyhow, we have totally amazing sex, there's NO problems in that aspect of our relationship AT ALL. We are working on making everything else just as great so we can get married and all the good stuff that comes along with that.
THAT being said, we are slowing down a bit and trying to have a good time together WITHOUT having sex! It's SOOOO HARD because we are so wildly passionate about each other and love having sex with each other. Isn't that strange that we just can't get along?!? Drives me crazy. So I'm going to his place to spend the night with him on Sunday. I want to show him a great night and really "WOW" him. But I can't really do anything sexual.. we're trying to resist that. I already decided I'll draw us a nice hot bubble-bath (he has a huge tub) and then I'll give him a full-body massage after the bath, for like an hour or something.. I just don't know what to do after that! We'll have a good four hours to kill off before we have to crash out for work on Monday.. I just want to show him how much I love him, show him a great relaxing evening... What else can I do besides a massage? Already decided a blow job is too much HAHAA. Thanks for any suggestions.
THAT being said, we are slowing down a bit and trying to have a good time together WITHOUT having sex! It's SOOOO HARD because we are so wildly passionate about each other and love having sex with each other. Isn't that strange that we just can't get along?!? Drives me crazy. So I'm going to his place to spend the night with him on Sunday. I want to show him a great night and really "WOW" him. But I can't really do anything sexual.. we're trying to resist that. I already decided I'll draw us a nice hot bubble-bath (he has a huge tub) and then I'll give him a full-body massage after the bath, for like an hour or something.. I just don't know what to do after that! We'll have a good four hours to kill off before we have to crash out for work on Monday.. I just want to show him how much I love him, show him a great relaxing evening... What else can I do besides a massage? Already decided a blow job is too much HAHAA. Thanks for any suggestions.

Welcome to the board blue_eyez19,
Have you read Five Love Langauges by Gary Chapman? If not, read it together.
I personally dont see what the problem is hehehehe.
If you're having a problem with arguing why you are then giving up sex? It doesn't really make sense. What you need to do is to deal with the issues you argue over, and also to learn how to communicate in a way that both feel truly heard and also truly able to say what they need to say. Communication is a great art and very important in relationships. Obviously, you communicate well in your sexual life, but not so well apart from that. Learn communication skills. See if you're dealing with power struggles, if one or the other always has to be "right". Give each other space to be and say what's on their mind and listen with respect and consideration. Unless you handle this area of arguing, things will be difficult going forward.
Best wishes,
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