What to do...
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| Sun, 01-27-2008 - 3:10am |
Ok... so this might be a loooong post.
I don't know what to do anymore. Let me start off by saying that I have trust issues. I had a lot of issues with my father growing up so I pretty much expect all males to hurt me.
I am 18 years old and I have been with my boyfriend (AJ, 20) for a little over 6 months. We moved in together after about 2 months of dating for convenience reasons more than anything.
I am pretty much a snooping psycho ish person. I check his phone for texts all the time and I feel like I can't even help doing it. I also knew his myspace password for a long time... but then he changed it because I would get on it all the time and read his messages. But I couldn't help it because like he kept emailing this chick who he had sex with a few years ago. He called her his stalker to his friend. But like he emails her back. And like recently he told this other girl that he wanted to f*ck her and this other girl that he wished he had a chance with her. And then this weekend I came to my mom's house which is about 2 and a half hours away and like two hours after I left he myspaced like 2 girls to see if they wanted to come spend the weekend... They both said they didn't want to drive that far... I don't think he actually thought that there was any chance that they'd accept... but



"I am pretty much a snooping psycho ish person."
Well, that's a gigantic problem that you will eventually have to resolve if you ever want a healthy relationship, but let's ignore your problems for the moment. Because amazingly, that statement isn't the worst part of your post.
"And like recently he told this other girl that he wanted to f*ck her and this other girl that he wished he had a chance with her. And then this weekend I came to my mom's house which is about 2 and a half hours away and like two hours after I left he myspaced like 2 girls to see if they wanted to come spend the weekend..."
You must have such an incredibly small amount of self-esteem to tolerate this. For that, I feel terrible for you, because no one deserves this kind of treatment. Morgan, this must be your first real relationship. You both are very immature, your screenname for the messageboards is something that a grade school kid would scribble on her lisa frank notebook complete with dolphins leaping over a glistening moon, and you say that you already have jealousy problems.
I have to assess your situation from an adult standpoint, since you are both technically adults and this is a messageboard for technically adult women. This relationship is childish. You allow him to act like a baby who can get away with whatever he wants. Allowing a man to tell other women that he wants to have sex with them is a huge slap in the face to yourself. Don't you deserve better than that? Then why don't you demand it?
The relationships you form when you're young will shape the way you look at relationships when you're older. Take a look around these boards, read all of the posts you can find from women who have no self-esteem, are emotionally bruised, and have enormous issues that only a therapist can fix - all from choosing the wrong relationships when they were younger. Look at the women who write about being with abusive men because they don't think they can do any better since they've been cheated on in the past. You need to have more self-worth than that. It's critical that you get yourself out of this mindset NOW before it affects the rest of your life and causes wounds only years of therapy can undo.
I hope you walk away from this man, never look back, and use him as a monument to the kind of man you will never be with again.
Welcome to the board morganlovesaj,
Usually the first 6 months of a relationship is the fun, exicting and most are on their 'best behavior' - currently he's showing you the minumum he is capable of doing, not the maximum.