what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
what to do
6
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 11:19pm
Hello, this is my first time to post. I have been in a relationship for three years and seem to still have disagreements with my b-friend. We are in our thirties and seem to have communication problems. Today he has gone for three days without talking to me and today when I got in front of him standing he spit in my face in front of an older man we have been friends with for years. It made me feel awful and I don't want to leave him, but my friend says I should. Please give my your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 12:20am

Welcome to the board win1bug,


If you are going to stay in this relationship, please insist on couples counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 1:34am
O i am so angry for you. If someone treat me like that they have it coming. Please Please leave him. You don't deserve to be treat like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:07am

You should leave him. After three years, if you're still having the same old arguments, you're right - there are either deep communication problems, or you are fundamentally incompatible. Arguments should end with you knowing more about one another, and coming to an agreement or compromise. You shouldn't keep coming back to the same old problems.

The fact that he spit in your face... I wouldn't even do that to an animal. If you're okay with being treated like a sidewalk pavement, or dirt, then by all means stay with this guy, but it's obvious that he's shown you how much respect he has for you and you'd be very, very foolish to stay with him. Men like this do not improve.

You're one of the "but I love him" crowd that is probably a majority of women out there. Most of them, willing to make excuses and justifications for their men's bad behavior. Take a stand for yourself and refuse to be treated like crap. Let this boy find a woman whose respect equals his own, or better yet, let him be single for the rest of his life. Women need to be strong, independent people who are happy on their own and don't lean on love or other men in order to stand up. Be your own person, win1bug, because if you can't stand up for yourself then no one else is going to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:14am

Welcome to the board win1bug,


I agree with all the other posters. You need to leave this relationship. Spitting on somone is one of the worse, most disrespectful things you can do to a person. Plus the fact that he would do that in front of someone else. It is like it is showing everyone that you mean nothing to him. You deserve so much better than this. Please do what is best for yourself and that is leaving this relationship.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:16am
Why in the world would you even THINK about staying with a man who spits on you, in public or private?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
In reply to: win1bug
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:37am

You have got to be kidding!!