What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
What to do?
6
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:39pm
He cheated on his wife several times; divorced his wife and hooked up with his mistress; now he is cheating on his mistress but still checks up on her while he is another relationship with another woman. His ex-mistress works with him and is difficult to evade him but he strikes up conversation with the ex-mistress. She too loves him and does not cut him off - entertains his conversations. Why is he still checking up on the ex-mistress when he ended the realtionship for another woman?


Edited 9/16/2004 9:45 pm ET ET by dianas36
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dianas36
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 9:23am
dianas36...

Pianoguy had a 'pop music flashback' after reading your post.

Linda Ronstadt had a hit in the 70s called: "I CAN'T LET GO!" And that's the answer to your question.

Your b/f can't...and doesn't...want to let go!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
In reply to: dianas36
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 3:11pm
He still checks up on her because he either wants to ensure that she is still pining for him or because he still wants to be in her life. Either way, I think this is bad news for you. Past behavior is a great predictor of current and future behavior....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
In reply to: dianas36
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 3:29pm
This guy wants what he wants when he wants it. He doesn't seem to be able to see outside of himself and he only cares about his needs and his pleasure. Bad news! If you are thinking of hooking up with him, think again. Unless, of course, you are self destructive. Then this is the man for you, because he will use you and then walk all over you to get to the next one. Of course, if the next one is busy he'll have no problems using you again to keep his ego boosted and to reinsure to himself that he still "has it".
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
In reply to: dianas36
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 3:32pm
First you said he's cheaing on his mistress which implies they are still in a relationship in which case him checking up on her would be normal, and then you called her his ex-mistress, so I'm not sure which she is.

Let's state the obvious...why do you want to be with this guy anyway? What makes you think he won't cheat on you? He cheated on his wife AND then cheated on his mistress with you. If you think he's going to change you are sorely mistaken. I don't think you should be worried about him checking up on her so much because that doesn't seem to be the major porblem. The problem is that he's a cheater. He checks up on her because, like someone else said, he still wants her or still has this connection that he can't shake. I rarely see guys cheat on their wifes or girlfriends just because they don't like them, they do it because they want more sex, attention, to do something bad, to get more fulfillment, but not because he's done with them. My guess is he just wanted to get some and then ended up liking you and he's not ready to completely get rid of the mistress. The keyword here is mistress, do you really respect him and your relationship when you are the mistress to the mistress. This man is pathetic.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dianas36
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 6:09pm
He's a selfish opportunist who thinks he's entitled to have women at his beck and call and then have to be faithful...but that same rule doesn't apply to him. Doesn't sound like a very nice guy. The ex-mistress must not think much of herself to allow herself to be treated this way. She should want more for herself than just crumbs and the other woman's leftovers.


Edited 9/17/2004 6:09 pm ET ET by blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: dianas36
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 1:58pm
That's easy.... because he's a liar and a cheater and the more the merrier. Meaning if he can have them both, why not.


Carrie