What to DO?
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What to DO?
| Wed, 07-28-2004 - 6:40am |
I have been with the same guy for the past 9 years, going on 10. We have two young boys, and I have an older son. My problem is that, we are not married, have mentioned it before, but I don't push it, cause I want him to want it too. At first it was up and down, and we stayed together due to the boys and because I really love him. Now, we can communicate much better, still our voices carry out loud, but I remind him that we are just talking and not fighting. Now just last night we were talking before we went to bed, and I brought up the past,so he says. The past being that he has lied, and he's caught in that lie. I said, true it is the past, but it has not stopped. I just choose not to keep hurting myself knowing that you keep doing it. What I don't understand is that he tells the boys not to lie to their mom, and he turns around and does it. Like today, he gets home, smiles walks in, I then come in, and asked what was he doing, he replied, nothing. Someone asked him to see something on the web. Now I know it was a picture in Playboy, because it was shown to me earlier. So I said, See, you just lied to me, you were looking at the Playboy picture, so he gets angry starts yelling, and I said don't start yelling at me, cause you got caught in telling a lie. He starts telling me he does't need to tell me anything, that I should of left it at that, That I am no one. No ONE. He hates me, can't stand being with me. Now this is where I get confused. I tell him, if he hates me and can't stand me, why is he still here?
I try to make it work, but sometimes, I feel that I make things worse. I am stuck with the boys all day, and when he does something like this it upsets me. Now he is sleeping in the living room, I am here typing away, and wondering is it worth it? He knows I can't sleep with out him, but does not matter. were not married, if he hate it why doesn't he leave???? He tells me its the boys, why doesn't he say its me... me who he can't live without.... like I tell him. AM I Wasting my life????

What are you teaching your boys about love, respect, honestly, relationships, self-esteem, etc by keeping them in this situation?