What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
What to do?
3
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:10pm


My ex and I saw each other last night at a business function. We talked later about how akward things had been the few times this has happened and we didn't want things that way. We dated for year and broke up about 3 months ago. He agreed that there needed to be more friendship and communication, etc. He held me while we talked and kissed my cheek several times, etc. After the talk and everything that was said about how we wanted to remain friends no matter what, it's left me feeling like we really should be together and that time has helped the communication issues we were having. I didn't know how he would react, so I didn't bring it up...but now I want to.

What to do? Do you think it's crazy? I have been thinking about it for the past weeks and this brought it all together, what I'm really feeling.




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: citygirl3000
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 3:26pm
You say that you two agreed that the communication was better and that it should continue to be better and then you wonder if you should tell him how you feel. The communication can't improve unless you act on it.

Why did you break up and what has changed, positively to make you think it would work this time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
In reply to: citygirl3000
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 4:16pm
He held you while you talked and kissed you at a "business function"? That's hard for me to envision. What type of business are you in? LOL Anyway, In my experience I have not seen many circumstances where people get back together and it works out for the long haul. People break up for a reason, and usually that reason has fundamental roots in the 2 people having different wants, needs and priorities.

I think you're reacting to the close contact you had with him. It felt good. You'd like more. But talking one time doesn't mean your "communication issues" from before would be gone if you got back together. Were those communication issues based on the fact that you didn't see eye to eye (ie. had different wants, needs, priorities)?

If you're not going to be able to suppress this "feeling" and let it go and move on, then go ahead and ask him if he feels the same way. But be prepared for rejection and then whatever happens, let go of the past and move on with your life. That may mean not being friends with him at all. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
In reply to: citygirl3000
Wed, 01-14-2004 - 6:29pm


Well no...we got together after the function and talked =) Since we've broken up, I've realized that I was selfish in many ways with the relationship and a combo of that and stress left me always in a "mood" and upset with him. I realize these things about myself and alot about him as a person when I look at the relationship as a whole, and I truly think that we were great together, we just let our egos get the best of us. Even he admits we were great together through the duration of the relationship except towards the end when we were both at stressful points and let that get in the way.

I think time has really helped me, and guess I'm just wondering if it's helped him and it seemed to when talked. Maybe I'm farfetched, but I can't help but want to know. I had been thinking about the relationship latley again and last night confirmed all that I was thinking.