What to do? Anything to save?
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| Mon, 05-28-2007 - 1:48pm |
I’m not sure if there is anything to “save” here. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since early January of this year.
We have been through some rough times, a lot to do with this being a long distance relationship. Although, I have made the effort to come out and visit him for a week every month since February, this month being the only month that I have not been able to make it out there. When we are together things are great. It wasn’t until two months ago our communication dropped off. He’s given me many reasons for this. One being that he has gotten very busy with his new role at work, our time difference, and that he simply just doesn’t like talking on the phone. All this was hard for me to take because he was the one that pursued talking ALL the time.
Today, all that is gone. During my last visit in April he promised that it would change. He even thanked me for being patient with him during this time that he was keeping to himself. Since I got back, nothing has changed. It has actually gotten worst. About three weeks ago he stated that he wanted our primary communication to be email. I told him that I didn’t want an email only relationship, especially with someone that wants me to come live with him and his son.
My dilemma now is that I already have a trip booked to go visit in June for a week and a half. He and I stopped talking about two weeks ago. I thought I had broken it off at the time due to the whole email communication thing. In the past, when I have broken up with him, we have discussed being friends. With that in mind, I called him about a week ago to ask him if he can get me the resident rate for a hotel since I was staying there for a long time and didn’t plan on the expense. He lives in Hawaii and they get a great deal at one of the hotels as a resident.
During this short conversation he said that he wanted me to stay with him and that he wanted to see how things go and hopefully we can turn things around. I asked him if we would be talking between now and then, because I wouldn’t feel comfortable just coming out to stay with him after not talking for four weeks. He said that I can call when ever I wanted to. He also began working a ton of hours and worst yet is now working an overnight shift. He told me that he doesn’t really think about me because all he thinks about is work and sleep.
So I called him this past Friday. His roommate answered and gave him the phone. He was pissed at me because I woke him up. In conversation, he told me that this was going to be his first weekend off in a couple of weeks. I asked if he was planning on calling me. He said he hadn’t thought about it. I asked if he could and he said that he will try. It’s Monday and I have not heard from him. I had also asked if we were technically broken up. He said that he didn’t want to break up and thought we were going to work on it when I got there. He proceeded to tell me if I didn’t want to wait for him, that he was ok with that. Our old “issue” was whether or not he could wait for me to move down there. Some how everything has been turned to me.
So what do I do? Stay with him and see what happens? Or enjoy a vacation on Hawaii by myself with my own place to stay? I know he will be upset when he finds out that I got my own place to stay while there. He keeps wanting me to stay with him to see how we are as a “family”. I just don’t want to put his son through false hopes though. I really haven’t talked to this guy for about three weeks now, besides our arguments about him not wanting to talk.
Sorry so long...

Welcome to the board kolina93,
My personal opinion is that people 'in love' do not behave this way - email relationship only, come see if it works out, call me any time you want, but don't wake me up or I'll be grumpy/mad etc.